After a very uncomfortable 7 hour bus ride, we arrived in paris at 6:30 a.m. I think when I'm writing about time, I'm going to start using the 24 hour clock from now on. Okay. So we arrived at 06:30 and it was freeeeezing cold. We walked up from the bus to the metro and stood there, nervously wondering how to buy a ticket. Anna lost and had to ask her for a day card, but she gave us only one for 2 days instead of 2 for 1 day.
We got off at Opera and saw the Opera house where the phantom of the opera lives. Our bellies started grumbling so we tried to find a McDonalds to get a delcious mcmuffin. No luck. And I had to pee. We ducked into the train station at Saint-Lazare because there was a sign that said toilettes. OMG. Worst idea ever. at 07:30 the train station was packed with commuters on their way to work. It was like a swarm of bees slamming into us over and over again. We ran out of there and into the open arms of a starbucks. I felt bad drinking coffee there but, you know what? It was the best starbucks coffee i've ever tasted. Ever.
After we starbucks, we found a mcdonalds (I know. So bad, but I did have a pain au chocolat from a little stand earlier) and Anna got us 2 bacon and eggers. So fucking gross. I ate a few bites then realized that my egg hadn't been cooked! The yoke was all runny and the white part was all sticky. Sick. Serves me right for trying to eat McDonalds in Paris!
Okay, now we had food. It was time to get the day started. We started by walking down Rue de l'Opera towards the Louvre. I thought we were going to go inside but that thing is HUGE! It would probably take about 2 days to cover everything. Instead, we took pictures of the glass pyramids and made our way to Notre dame. We ended up walking the wrong way, so we walked to the Eiffel Tower instead. On the way there, I noticed that everyone smelled like Jean Paul Gaultier's Classique. So good. I miss me smelling like that.
Our legs were going to fall off, so we stopped in this little park in front of Hotel Les Invalides and shared a beer. It was 10:30, but since we had been up pretty much all night, we didn't totally feel like alcoholics. Plus, it was so pretty there. Even the pigeons were pretty.
The Eiffel tower seemed smaller than anticipated until we got really close to it. We took the regular pictures, but we didn't go up because we would've had to wait in line for about 4-5 hours. I did buy a miniture Eiffel tower statue, which is something I've wanted for a long time. Whenever someone I knows go to Paris, I'm like, "Get me a miniture eiffel tower statue!" and they never do. Now that I know they're like 2 euros I realize my friends are cheap bastards... or should I say, basterds.
We took the bus to Champs Elysees and go off in front of this street market. I found one booth that was all Quebecois. They had no curds, so we kept walking towards the Arc de triumphe. We stopped to see a movie at this old theatre that had a balcony and everything! We saw New Moon and it was so bad. Soooo bad. But, I can see why teens love it. We had to keep our coats and gloves on during the whole film because it was so cold in the theatre. Tee-at-truh.
Anna and I were cranky and hunger which made us HANGRY at each other so a few fights ensued on the Champs. She took a picture of the arc and then I took one and she's all, "WHAT! MY PICTURE ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH!!" We knew it was time to go to our hotel and go to sleep.
hotel and next day to be continued
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Monday, December 7, 2009
Planes in hell part 2
Okay, so I'm in London, and I have to catch my connecting flight to Frankfurt, but I really don't know where to go. I followed the crowd of people until I saw a sign that said "Terminal 4 - contintental." I made my way over there, took my shoes, belt, and jacket off, emptied my pockets, took my lap top out of my bag and went through security only to be told that I had to go to Terminal 1, and I best hurry because the bus was leaving soon!
Once I was on the bus, I noticed something was wrong with my coat. I took my back pack off and discovered the back button had fallen off somewhere (who knows what country) and the piece of fabric that was attached to it was left dangling. Great.
I got off the bus and went to security for Terminal 1 which was about 5 times more busy than security at Terminal 4. I went through all the motions again with removing the shoes, laptop, and belt but for some reason--I beeped. The security guard called me over and told me to spread 'em. Without disengaging in her conversation with the other guard, she felt me up, every single inch of my body. I was hoping that the first person to touch me like in 2 months would've been my wife but plans change. I grabbed my stuff, feeling somewhat dirty, and went to the lobby.
Now that I had slept a bit on the plane, I was able to understand my ticket. My plane wasn't arriving in Frankfurt at 11:45 a.m. it was actually leaving from London at that time. Shiiiiiiiit. I exchanged my american and canadian dollars for a measly 8 pounds. It took 4 pounds to call Anna and tell her that, then my nose started to bleed again.
The plane to Frankfurt was a medium sized one. I had a whole row of seats to myself. There was a screaming baby five rows away from me and the couple behind me had a screaming baby which made my fear of flying evaporate. All I wanted was for that fucking plane to be in the sky so I could put my ipod on and just zone out.
My nose started to bleed again.
After 26 hours, I finally touched down in Germany. Seeing Anna was amazing. Home is where she is. After all that, seeing her face made it all worth it. Let's just hope I don't have to go through that huge ordeal to go back to Canada because there will be no Anna waiting for me there.
Once I was on the bus, I noticed something was wrong with my coat. I took my back pack off and discovered the back button had fallen off somewhere (who knows what country) and the piece of fabric that was attached to it was left dangling. Great.
I got off the bus and went to security for Terminal 1 which was about 5 times more busy than security at Terminal 4. I went through all the motions again with removing the shoes, laptop, and belt but for some reason--I beeped. The security guard called me over and told me to spread 'em. Without disengaging in her conversation with the other guard, she felt me up, every single inch of my body. I was hoping that the first person to touch me like in 2 months would've been my wife but plans change. I grabbed my stuff, feeling somewhat dirty, and went to the lobby.
Now that I had slept a bit on the plane, I was able to understand my ticket. My plane wasn't arriving in Frankfurt at 11:45 a.m. it was actually leaving from London at that time. Shiiiiiiiit. I exchanged my american and canadian dollars for a measly 8 pounds. It took 4 pounds to call Anna and tell her that, then my nose started to bleed again.
The plane to Frankfurt was a medium sized one. I had a whole row of seats to myself. There was a screaming baby five rows away from me and the couple behind me had a screaming baby which made my fear of flying evaporate. All I wanted was for that fucking plane to be in the sky so I could put my ipod on and just zone out.
My nose started to bleed again.
After 26 hours, I finally touched down in Germany. Seeing Anna was amazing. Home is where she is. After all that, seeing her face made it all worth it. Let's just hope I don't have to go through that huge ordeal to go back to Canada because there will be no Anna waiting for me there.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Planes in hell part 1.
I couldn't sleep the night before I got on the plane. I tried to but each time sleep would overcome me, Preston would snore cough and wake me up. By 3 a.m I figured it was useless and just started gathering my things.
I took a cab to the skytrain station and when I jumped out a familiar transient came up to me. In a bad australian accent, he asked if he could ask me a question. "I can't. I have to catch this skytrain or I'm going to be late!" I said and walked away. "Wait! Just let me ask you something!" He said and followed me to the escalator. Obviously he didn't want to ask me anything about where to go in Vancouver or a good restaurant or he would've coughed it out. He wanted to lay some sad sob story on me in order to give him money. Well, I've given him money before! Like four years ago! "Sorry. If you're from Australia, you understand how important it is to be on time for your plane so no, I have to go." I said and went down the escalator. He totally flipped out. Started screaming FUCKKKK! FUCKKK! AHHH!!! Day not starting off too good, I thought.
Hanging out in the Vancouver aiport wasn't too bad. Except for the bird that almost gave me a heart attack. My plane loaded on time, and I was seated next to a nice woman with braces, and we had the middle seat free! Okay, maybe this won't be too bad. Except it was. She had to bladder of an infant and made me get up 5 times during our 5 hour flight to go to the bathroom. The flight hit turbulance 1 hour in. At first it was just moderately bumpy--I could deal, but then it got crazy. The plane was going left, right, up, down. I looked at the flight attendents and even they looked worried. They remained seated for most of the flight too. It didn't help that the captain kept coming on and telling us that he was trying to get through it. TRYING??? It was the hugest relief when the plane touched down, twice, on the runway. Seriously, the plane bounced when we landed. Now I had 5 hours to prepare myself for the next flight.
I couldn't find my flight listed anywhere, so I went to the gate where it was supposed to be and nodded off in an uncomfortable position. I decided to try to give updates on my computer, but I knew it was almost out of juice so I'd better plug it in. Too bad I left my adaptor at Preston's house. Then I went to get something to eat since I refused to cereal they tried to feed us on the plane, but my bank card wouldn't work. I was so tired that I couldn't help stop my eyes from welling up. Fortuantely for me, it was just the bank machine and I was able to take out 20 dollars from another one. I got some gross wendy's and went back to my gate.
At around 5pm, one hour before my flight was supposed to start boarding, a woman came over the PA and asked if anyone was waiting for a flight to Frankfurt. I went up to the counter and she told me that my flight had been cancelled. She found me another flight to London with a connection to Frankfurt that was leaving in half an hour. She apologized and gave me a 12 dollar food voucher which I used to buy the biggest jamba juice ever.
The London flight was alright. I had a tv in the back of my chair, and I watched Up, Back to the Future, Bonnie and Clyde, and Mrs. Doubtfire. I shared the aisle with an old couple who didn't bother me at all. For dinner, I had chicken and rice with salad and some delicious cookies. I couldn't get wasted on the plane because you had to use your interact or visa--no cash. The flight was pretty swell until I sneezed and got a bleeding nose that wouldn't stop. Other than that, it was smooth flying.
to be continued... must eat cold donair now. It is 5 a.m. I have been sleeping since 8pm.
I took a cab to the skytrain station and when I jumped out a familiar transient came up to me. In a bad australian accent, he asked if he could ask me a question. "I can't. I have to catch this skytrain or I'm going to be late!" I said and walked away. "Wait! Just let me ask you something!" He said and followed me to the escalator. Obviously he didn't want to ask me anything about where to go in Vancouver or a good restaurant or he would've coughed it out. He wanted to lay some sad sob story on me in order to give him money. Well, I've given him money before! Like four years ago! "Sorry. If you're from Australia, you understand how important it is to be on time for your plane so no, I have to go." I said and went down the escalator. He totally flipped out. Started screaming FUCKKKK! FUCKKK! AHHH!!! Day not starting off too good, I thought.
Hanging out in the Vancouver aiport wasn't too bad. Except for the bird that almost gave me a heart attack. My plane loaded on time, and I was seated next to a nice woman with braces, and we had the middle seat free! Okay, maybe this won't be too bad. Except it was. She had to bladder of an infant and made me get up 5 times during our 5 hour flight to go to the bathroom. The flight hit turbulance 1 hour in. At first it was just moderately bumpy--I could deal, but then it got crazy. The plane was going left, right, up, down. I looked at the flight attendents and even they looked worried. They remained seated for most of the flight too. It didn't help that the captain kept coming on and telling us that he was trying to get through it. TRYING??? It was the hugest relief when the plane touched down, twice, on the runway. Seriously, the plane bounced when we landed. Now I had 5 hours to prepare myself for the next flight.
I couldn't find my flight listed anywhere, so I went to the gate where it was supposed to be and nodded off in an uncomfortable position. I decided to try to give updates on my computer, but I knew it was almost out of juice so I'd better plug it in. Too bad I left my adaptor at Preston's house. Then I went to get something to eat since I refused to cereal they tried to feed us on the plane, but my bank card wouldn't work. I was so tired that I couldn't help stop my eyes from welling up. Fortuantely for me, it was just the bank machine and I was able to take out 20 dollars from another one. I got some gross wendy's and went back to my gate.
At around 5pm, one hour before my flight was supposed to start boarding, a woman came over the PA and asked if anyone was waiting for a flight to Frankfurt. I went up to the counter and she told me that my flight had been cancelled. She found me another flight to London with a connection to Frankfurt that was leaving in half an hour. She apologized and gave me a 12 dollar food voucher which I used to buy the biggest jamba juice ever.
The London flight was alright. I had a tv in the back of my chair, and I watched Up, Back to the Future, Bonnie and Clyde, and Mrs. Doubtfire. I shared the aisle with an old couple who didn't bother me at all. For dinner, I had chicken and rice with salad and some delicious cookies. I couldn't get wasted on the plane because you had to use your interact or visa--no cash. The flight was pretty swell until I sneezed and got a bleeding nose that wouldn't stop. Other than that, it was smooth flying.
to be continued... must eat cold donair now. It is 5 a.m. I have been sleeping since 8pm.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Business as usual
The rains have finally come to the West Coast. I was starting to get nervous once the dry summer spread into the autumn. The winds have shook the remaining leaves from the trees, which somehow seem to find their way into the kitchen every day... I'm trying to find a segway into how I lost my job the other day. Leaves fall from trees which means a new season which means slow business which means no more job for me.
I was a bit upset because I found out that I had lost my job 20 minutes before I was due to close up shop. We have a "communications book" where usually the manager writes about new policies or the assistant manager writes about how we need some "fucking common sense, man. Fuck." I had just finished portioning 300+ bags of cheese curd for our poutine when I realized I hadn't looked at the book or the daily duties. First, I checked out the daily duties. No, I was not going to stamp the bags since we had enough to last us a few months. Now that that was out of the way, I opened the book to see what my manager had written.
Now, I realized that she had been acting a bit strange in the last couple of days. The day before, I called and asked if I could take a 20 dollar advance since my bank still had a hold on my cheque. She got really uncomfortable about it and said that it would have to come off the cheque that was being processed now. Since it seemed like such a big deal, I told her to just forget about it. I ended up making $14 in tips so it was okay. Anyway, the next day when I got on shift, she didn't stay to chit chat like she usually does. She grabbed her shit and ran out of there. I didn't think anything of it until I read her note.
I'm not paraphrasing because I can't remember verbatom what she wrote but it along the lines of, "Due to slow business, I need to cut some shifts. Don't take it personally, I love you guys and it was awesome working with you all! Cut offs start next week." I ran over to the calendar to see what shifts she had cut of mine.... ALL OF THEM! I no longer worked at Pirate chips!! I was so mad! How could I not take it personally? A piece of paper just layed me off.
So, I wrote a passive agressive not under her note, called her up and told her to officially lay me off so I could collect benefits (which I found out I'm not even eligible for anyway) and find someone else to work the late Saturday shift. Now I have 2 weeks until I go to Germany, and I will have 400 dollars less that I had anticipated and now way of getting it. I think she could have handled those 5 fucking shifts! Or at least she could've given me some warning.
This is why I don't feel bad about lying to my employers because they will fuck you over in an instant.
I was a bit upset because I found out that I had lost my job 20 minutes before I was due to close up shop. We have a "communications book" where usually the manager writes about new policies or the assistant manager writes about how we need some "fucking common sense, man. Fuck." I had just finished portioning 300+ bags of cheese curd for our poutine when I realized I hadn't looked at the book or the daily duties. First, I checked out the daily duties. No, I was not going to stamp the bags since we had enough to last us a few months. Now that that was out of the way, I opened the book to see what my manager had written.
Now, I realized that she had been acting a bit strange in the last couple of days. The day before, I called and asked if I could take a 20 dollar advance since my bank still had a hold on my cheque. She got really uncomfortable about it and said that it would have to come off the cheque that was being processed now. Since it seemed like such a big deal, I told her to just forget about it. I ended up making $14 in tips so it was okay. Anyway, the next day when I got on shift, she didn't stay to chit chat like she usually does. She grabbed her shit and ran out of there. I didn't think anything of it until I read her note.
I'm not paraphrasing because I can't remember verbatom what she wrote but it along the lines of, "Due to slow business, I need to cut some shifts. Don't take it personally, I love you guys and it was awesome working with you all! Cut offs start next week." I ran over to the calendar to see what shifts she had cut of mine.... ALL OF THEM! I no longer worked at Pirate chips!! I was so mad! How could I not take it personally? A piece of paper just layed me off.
So, I wrote a passive agressive not under her note, called her up and told her to officially lay me off so I could collect benefits (which I found out I'm not even eligible for anyway) and find someone else to work the late Saturday shift. Now I have 2 weeks until I go to Germany, and I will have 400 dollars less that I had anticipated and now way of getting it. I think she could have handled those 5 fucking shifts! Or at least she could've given me some warning.
This is why I don't feel bad about lying to my employers because they will fuck you over in an instant.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
good will hunting
I feel like Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting... except I'm terrible at math. I'm doing this menial job, when I know I could be doing better. I had this great plan of returning to Canada and going back to school but that all fell apart. Now I'm learning that I had more options but it's too late for this semester. I have to wait for next semester.
I'm sure I'm being paranoid or maybe I'm not. I can feel the condescending looks the students give me when I make them fries. Like, poor her.. good thing I'm a student. But I'll still be doing this when I go back to school. I don't know where I'm going with this. I guess it's hard to deal with when people from my past keep appearing at my counter with this surprised look on their face. "What are you doing here?" They ask, as if I'm being held prisoner there. This is what happens when you drop out of school, move to a foreign country, and then move back to NANAIMO to take care of your mother.
I'm going back to school in January but not in Vancouver. None of my plans have followed through, and I'm sure they won't follow through. I'm sick of planning shit. It just leads to disappointment. Where's my Robin Williams?
I'm sure I'm being paranoid or maybe I'm not. I can feel the condescending looks the students give me when I make them fries. Like, poor her.. good thing I'm a student. But I'll still be doing this when I go back to school. I don't know where I'm going with this. I guess it's hard to deal with when people from my past keep appearing at my counter with this surprised look on their face. "What are you doing here?" They ask, as if I'm being held prisoner there. This is what happens when you drop out of school, move to a foreign country, and then move back to NANAIMO to take care of your mother.
I'm going back to school in January but not in Vancouver. None of my plans have followed through, and I'm sure they won't follow through. I'm sick of planning shit. It just leads to disappointment. Where's my Robin Williams?
Thursday, July 30, 2009
No end in sight
This heat wave is never going to end. I woke up this morning so hot I thought I was going to barf. I still feel barfy and now I have to go work in a sweltering kitchen. No puking in the deep fryer.
I got my first sunburn in a long time. I think the last time I burned my shoulders I was 6. I had been swimming all day at Queen Elizabeth pool in Edmonton, and I thought I didn't need to worry since I was under water. I was sadly mistaken. This time I tried to wear sun block, but I wasn't flexible enough to reach the part that got sunburned. It felt real nice to sleep on it all night at Azure's house. Real nice.
Tonight's news at 6 is "Too hot to feel hot and bothered?" this heat is making everyone crazy.
3 more weeks til anna!
I got my first sunburn in a long time. I think the last time I burned my shoulders I was 6. I had been swimming all day at Queen Elizabeth pool in Edmonton, and I thought I didn't need to worry since I was under water. I was sadly mistaken. This time I tried to wear sun block, but I wasn't flexible enough to reach the part that got sunburned. It felt real nice to sleep on it all night at Azure's house. Real nice.
Tonight's news at 6 is "Too hot to feel hot and bothered?" this heat is making everyone crazy.
3 more weeks til anna!
Monday, July 6, 2009
This will choke you
My ribs feel tight. This pressure is literally starting to suffocate me and it's only been two weeks. I have no idea how Eli has dealt with this for the past nine months. It's not really my mom that's drowning me, it's everyone around her. All of a sudden I have become Dr. Jessica, and I feel useless because I don't have any answers. I don't know how to fix this, but I'm trying.
I should've just let the phone go to voicemail, but I expected my mom to eventually answer it, so I beat her to it. It was my Nana, and she didn't want to talk to my mom. She wanted to talk to me. Somehow it seems better if I write this here. It makes it real because none of this feels real. It's like I've stepped into an alternate reality or a nightmare. But it's real.
I hate talking about her behind her back but it's all we do. It's all we can do because she won't listen to us or she constantly makes excuses for everything. She's the master of mind games and manipulation. Fortunately for us, we've picked up some tricks along the way. I just want to stop being scared and worried and anxoius. I don't want to breakdown every few days or have to be full of frustration. I want her to be that happy woman again, working in the yard or going to the beach. I don't want to lose her.
I should've just let the phone go to voicemail, but I expected my mom to eventually answer it, so I beat her to it. It was my Nana, and she didn't want to talk to my mom. She wanted to talk to me. Somehow it seems better if I write this here. It makes it real because none of this feels real. It's like I've stepped into an alternate reality or a nightmare. But it's real.
I hate talking about her behind her back but it's all we do. It's all we can do because she won't listen to us or she constantly makes excuses for everything. She's the master of mind games and manipulation. Fortunately for us, we've picked up some tricks along the way. I just want to stop being scared and worried and anxoius. I don't want to breakdown every few days or have to be full of frustration. I want her to be that happy woman again, working in the yard or going to the beach. I don't want to lose her.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
I think I'll eat your heart
I can't stop watching t.v. It's killing my soul. I just sat there and laughed while Peggy fell 10,000 feet and her parachute wouldn't open. I laughed. By the same token, it is making my transition into loneliness a lot easier.
Why does TD bank have to be so far? I have $90.00 worth of coinage that I have to cash in and no vehicle to get me there. The Nanaimo bus system is utter crap. After waiting half an hour for a bus to arrive, Preston and I gave up and took a cab. My poverty doesn't permit me such luxuries anymore. Luxuries is a weird word. Luxur.. ies. Yes, I have gotten into my mom's back medicine again. I just did an Anthony Hopkins impression and it was pretty damn good. I will show my mom now. She said it was good.
I went for lunch with Fiona and her boyfriend, Daniel, today. We wandered around downtown Nanaimo trying to find a place to eat. The Sake House was closed, The Vault had ran of bread (..the fuck?) so we had to settle for Acme, which has become Acme Rib & Sushi home. Weird. I had the sushi and I felt sick for a few hours after.
Now I am going to watch Red Dragon because I am too self-concious to go and play soccer.
Why does TD bank have to be so far? I have $90.00 worth of coinage that I have to cash in and no vehicle to get me there. The Nanaimo bus system is utter crap. After waiting half an hour for a bus to arrive, Preston and I gave up and took a cab. My poverty doesn't permit me such luxuries anymore. Luxuries is a weird word. Luxur.. ies. Yes, I have gotten into my mom's back medicine again. I just did an Anthony Hopkins impression and it was pretty damn good. I will show my mom now. She said it was good.
I went for lunch with Fiona and her boyfriend, Daniel, today. We wandered around downtown Nanaimo trying to find a place to eat. The Sake House was closed, The Vault had ran of bread (..the fuck?) so we had to settle for Acme, which has become Acme Rib & Sushi home. Weird. I had the sushi and I felt sick for a few hours after.
Now I am going to watch Red Dragon because I am too self-concious to go and play soccer.
Friday, July 3, 2009
1
I'm having trouble getting this day started. I woke up at 6 a.m. unable to sleep because it was too hot, and I'm pretty sure the pigeons have found another way into the roof. I could hear them scurrying around again. Why? Well, at least it's not as bad as last year. I could seriously hear eggs rolling around in the rafters. Gross.
I managed to fall asleep again around 8 a.m. where I fell into the weirdest dream ever. Nathan and I were at Costco waiting in line for bread when the power went out. Everyone went crazy because no one could see anything. Knowing that nathan's a smoker, I asked him for his lighter. It didn't take long for everyone to start looting the place. I stole a carton of cigarettes and ran outside. Once outside, I noticed everyone was covered in these thick, yellow worms that were killing them. I ran onto a bus to hide from them but found that all the seats were taken. I had to sit on this big black guys lap. Then this cat that looked more like a fox got on the bus and tried attacking me. I knew if it bit me I'd get rabies and die, but I couldn't go outside because of worms. Some girl got up and wrestled the cat away from me and jumped outside with it. I was like, "Nooooooo! The worms!!!" The bus stopped, and I found a car and started driving towards the arctic. I figured the worms wouldn't be in the cold. Once I was in the mountains, I found a diner and stopped to have coffee and lo and behold Roxanne was sitting at a table! I sat down and had a coffee with her and then I woke up.
Okay. I must go vacuum, dust, and pull some weeds. I don't think I have the power to make my mom's house look like it used to, but I will try my hardest.
I managed to fall asleep again around 8 a.m. where I fell into the weirdest dream ever. Nathan and I were at Costco waiting in line for bread when the power went out. Everyone went crazy because no one could see anything. Knowing that nathan's a smoker, I asked him for his lighter. It didn't take long for everyone to start looting the place. I stole a carton of cigarettes and ran outside. Once outside, I noticed everyone was covered in these thick, yellow worms that were killing them. I ran onto a bus to hide from them but found that all the seats were taken. I had to sit on this big black guys lap. Then this cat that looked more like a fox got on the bus and tried attacking me. I knew if it bit me I'd get rabies and die, but I couldn't go outside because of worms. Some girl got up and wrestled the cat away from me and jumped outside with it. I was like, "Nooooooo! The worms!!!" The bus stopped, and I found a car and started driving towards the arctic. I figured the worms wouldn't be in the cold. Once I was in the mountains, I found a diner and stopped to have coffee and lo and behold Roxanne was sitting at a table! I sat down and had a coffee with her and then I woke up.
Okay. I must go vacuum, dust, and pull some weeds. I don't think I have the power to make my mom's house look like it used to, but I will try my hardest.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
No hands!
I'm packing up to leave. It's hard to pack because we don't have a scale, and I have no idea how heavy 22 kgs is. I always thinks I have a rough estimate, but I'm not so sure anymore. I can lift the suitcase with one hand, so I guess that's a good sign. The burly luggage handlers can surely lift it with both hands to load it into the airplane. .. why do I have so much stuff? It doesn't feel like I have that much stuff but when I think about it, that's the only stuff I own in this world and it all fits into two suitcases. Well, I own more, but I had to take it out because of heavy fears. I only wear two outfits anyway. I don't know what all these clothes are for.
So nine months has past since I've last been to Canada. I've lived in three different places, learned how to speak german somewhat, and met no one. I saw a lot of amazing things like everything in Berlin, the Stuttgart oktoberfest, swiss dolphins, Russian family dinners, east germany (including the scary incident in Ehrfurt). So many memories... and I never cut my hair. This mane is ridiculous! I think it's grown almost a foot since it was last cut. I had short bangs when I left, now they are past my chins. Yes, chins. Damn you delicious german food!
Priorities in Canada: get a job, lose weight. Thank god for drop-in gyms. I was thinking of joining pilates too, but I think it might be too expensive for my budget. I was planning on riding my bike everywhere too, but Eli informed me that it was stolen--again. When Anna and I brought our bikes here, I was like, "We should get locks!" she didn't understand why since our bikes are ugly and old and no one would want to steal them. Those standards don't matter in Canada. People will steal a bike whatever condition it is in. Here, beautiful bikes lay around unlocked. I guess no one wants to steal a bike because everyone has a bike. Seriously, at this one school there's probably 300-400 bikes outside in the bike racks. Germany is a bike country. Bike roads, split bike/human walkways, bike bridges, bike racks everywhere. I almost get runover daily.. stupid bikes. And no one wears a helmet! Sometimes I see people riding their bikes with no hands, smoking or talking on their cell phone (sometimes both), no helmet, and a baby in the back... horrible.
So nine months has past since I've last been to Canada. I've lived in three different places, learned how to speak german somewhat, and met no one. I saw a lot of amazing things like everything in Berlin, the Stuttgart oktoberfest, swiss dolphins, Russian family dinners, east germany (including the scary incident in Ehrfurt). So many memories... and I never cut my hair. This mane is ridiculous! I think it's grown almost a foot since it was last cut. I had short bangs when I left, now they are past my chins. Yes, chins. Damn you delicious german food!
Priorities in Canada: get a job, lose weight. Thank god for drop-in gyms. I was thinking of joining pilates too, but I think it might be too expensive for my budget. I was planning on riding my bike everywhere too, but Eli informed me that it was stolen--again. When Anna and I brought our bikes here, I was like, "We should get locks!" she didn't understand why since our bikes are ugly and old and no one would want to steal them. Those standards don't matter in Canada. People will steal a bike whatever condition it is in. Here, beautiful bikes lay around unlocked. I guess no one wants to steal a bike because everyone has a bike. Seriously, at this one school there's probably 300-400 bikes outside in the bike racks. Germany is a bike country. Bike roads, split bike/human walkways, bike bridges, bike racks everywhere. I almost get runover daily.. stupid bikes. And no one wears a helmet! Sometimes I see people riding their bikes with no hands, smoking or talking on their cell phone (sometimes both), no helmet, and a baby in the back... horrible.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Random Germany
These pictures are taken in and around Konstanz and Kreuzlingen. Anna found it weird that I was taking pictures of garbage cans, food places, and underpasses... but they're different from canada! Here's the first one.. reminds me of a Slim Pickin's/Dear Diary song...
I've got solar power, I've got solar power.......
This is graffiti near my apartment
The German's love their asparagus
This looks like an old oil drum but it's where they deposit their glass bottles. No money for wine bottles here!
Our dinner friend at the Gay restaurant, Schmitt's, in Konstanz
Weird water fountain nipple in Switzerland
The German children in signs are less co-operative than Canadian signs.. look at the buckling knees!
I want this little van. It's the cutest. It's like those power wheel cars my brothers had when we were little.
I've got solar power, I've got solar power.......
This is graffiti near my apartment
The German's love their asparagus
This looks like an old oil drum but it's where they deposit their glass bottles. No money for wine bottles here!
Our dinner friend at the Gay restaurant, Schmitt's, in Konstanz
Weird water fountain nipple in Switzerland
The German children in signs are less co-operative than Canadian signs.. look at the buckling knees!
I want this little van. It's the cutest. It's like those power wheel cars my brothers had when we were little.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Flooding
I woke up in pain and it was still dark out. It couldn't have been too early though because the birds were chirping. I forgot that the blinds were down so maybe the sun had just started to rise. I lied in bed and recalled my dream.
I was in Downtown, Vancouver, under an overpass, moving snow in to slushy piles. It was raining and I was talking on my cell phone to Benni from DSDS. He asked me why I was downtown, "There's nothing down there." He said in his whiney voice. I laughed and looked around me. Across the street a group of people waited for the bus. One girl was wearing a full on rain suit. She had a long yellow rain coat, a big yellow rain hat, rain pants, and rubber boots--all yellow. All of a sudden, she fainted. She fell forward into a giant puddle and just layed there, face down. Everyone gave each other uncomfortable glances when another person keeled over. I told Benni what was happening, and he said, "Should've stayed in Germany, huh." "Yeah," I said. As I was putting my phone in my pocket, I noticed the puddles were getting deeper and spilling over into the street. The water raised past my ankles, so I started to run.
My heart felt like it was going to explode, but I couldn't stop. The crowd behind pushed past me as we ran up Cambie street. I knew I would be safe if I could just make it to this person but the crowd wouldn't let me get past. Finally the water reached me and dragged me down. "I don't want to die drowning," I thought. Then I woke up.
I guess I feel that if I go back to Vancouver, I will drown. Metaphorically, of course. I'm going back to finish my degree, but I'm scared I will fuck it up again and if that happens, I'm sure Benni from DSDS would've said, "Should've stayed in Germany." Arg. The dreams that followed after that all had the same theme and the same person. Don't understand.
I was in Downtown, Vancouver, under an overpass, moving snow in to slushy piles. It was raining and I was talking on my cell phone to Benni from DSDS. He asked me why I was downtown, "There's nothing down there." He said in his whiney voice. I laughed and looked around me. Across the street a group of people waited for the bus. One girl was wearing a full on rain suit. She had a long yellow rain coat, a big yellow rain hat, rain pants, and rubber boots--all yellow. All of a sudden, she fainted. She fell forward into a giant puddle and just layed there, face down. Everyone gave each other uncomfortable glances when another person keeled over. I told Benni what was happening, and he said, "Should've stayed in Germany, huh." "Yeah," I said. As I was putting my phone in my pocket, I noticed the puddles were getting deeper and spilling over into the street. The water raised past my ankles, so I started to run.
My heart felt like it was going to explode, but I couldn't stop. The crowd behind pushed past me as we ran up Cambie street. I knew I would be safe if I could just make it to this person but the crowd wouldn't let me get past. Finally the water reached me and dragged me down. "I don't want to die drowning," I thought. Then I woke up.
I guess I feel that if I go back to Vancouver, I will drown. Metaphorically, of course. I'm going back to finish my degree, but I'm scared I will fuck it up again and if that happens, I'm sure Benni from DSDS would've said, "Should've stayed in Germany." Arg. The dreams that followed after that all had the same theme and the same person. Don't understand.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Dreams
I had a dream last night that I cloned myself so that I could have a baby. Like Jango Fett raising Boba Fett as a son. After a few months, I called my mom and asked how long I had blue eyes for. She said, "About two seconds." But, baby clone me still had blue eyes and it looked like she'd have blonde hair. The doctors tried to explain the process to me but it didn't make sense. Not like, I'm too stupid and can't understand, but they said they used another man's sperm with my eggs... to me that doesn't seem like a clone... to me that's a real baby. Anyway, she looked exactly like me, and I loved her so much...
I think maybe my maternal instincts are starting to invade my dreams now. Freud said that your dreams are a secret wish. I think that's bullshit because sometimes I have really fucked up dreams where the world is ending, and I'm scared to death. Is that my wish? I wish to huddle in my apartment, screaming, while bombs drop over me?
I have PMS, which Anna doesn't seem to understand. Weird since she's a girl and all...
I think maybe my maternal instincts are starting to invade my dreams now. Freud said that your dreams are a secret wish. I think that's bullshit because sometimes I have really fucked up dreams where the world is ending, and I'm scared to death. Is that my wish? I wish to huddle in my apartment, screaming, while bombs drop over me?
I have PMS, which Anna doesn't seem to understand. Weird since she's a girl and all...
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Forest and sands
Today it dawned on me that it's probably going to be a shock coming back to Canada. Even last year, when I was in the airport in London, I was amazed that the woman could speak English. We went grocery shopping today for our dinner and as I was riding up the escalator I caught a snatch of someone's conversation as they rode down the escalator, and I understood what they were saying. When I got off the escalator, I looked around at all the stores and signs around me, and I understood everything. We walked outside the mall and an old lady asked another old lady if she needed help, and I understood.
And the rain started again, and I realized that I'm totally fucked because I now have two countries that I'm semi fond of, and I can't get away with being a stupid Canadian anymore. The Jehovah's taught me that today when I answered the door and they asked for Anna and I said, "Sie is nicht hier.." but they didn't care, so I pretended my german was horrible, but they started speaking German. I'm sure they would've brought out french if I tried that one on for size. Bastards. But, I was nice to them. I told them I was leaving soon so no, I cannot accept a date to study the bible with your wife.. sorry.
Now Anna and I are going to see Terminator 4 totally wasted. Good times. I'm going to miss this town.. this country... this lady.
And the rain started again, and I realized that I'm totally fucked because I now have two countries that I'm semi fond of, and I can't get away with being a stupid Canadian anymore. The Jehovah's taught me that today when I answered the door and they asked for Anna and I said, "Sie is nicht hier.." but they didn't care, so I pretended my german was horrible, but they started speaking German. I'm sure they would've brought out french if I tried that one on for size. Bastards. But, I was nice to them. I told them I was leaving soon so no, I cannot accept a date to study the bible with your wife.. sorry.
Now Anna and I are going to see Terminator 4 totally wasted. Good times. I'm going to miss this town.. this country... this lady.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Crossing borders
Yesterday we walked to Switzerland (whoa, I totally forgot how to spell that for a second) because we wanted to see what their grocery stores are like. I trapped myself in a sweater because it was cold and windy when we got groceries at our local. However, on the way there, I soon discovered it was fucking boiling out, and I was wearing a black t-shirt with a red hoodie. I could've taken the sweater off, but then I would've looked gross. No time for that.
Once we made it to Kreuzlingen, we tried to cross the street at one of those zebra crosswalks, but some douchebag decided to almost run us over and then he had the audacity to honk at us! I raised my arms in protest and said, "What! It's a crosswalk!" Then he made a sign that means I'm stupid. I should've kicked his car. After that, we were scared to cross the street.
I saw a man and his dog, and his dog was trying to bite him, so he kept yanking it up in the air by it's leash. I was like, "Christ, if someone kept holding me up in mid-air by a leash, I'd try to bite them too!" I don't understand why some people get animals if they don't like them.
After roaming around the town for a bit, we finally stumbled across a mall. We almost circled the entire building before we found an entrance. What kind of mall only has 1 entrance?? A Swiss mall. Inside, the mall was circular, like a slinky. The grocery store, COOP, was gigantic. The first thing we saw was the beer aisle. We were like kids in a candy store. They had all my favorite beer! Well, almost.. no Canadian beer.. but they did have cans of Dr. Pepper. We also found Canadian Bison steaks, but they cost about 30 swiss francs, and we only took out 20. So, we bought a bunch of beer and some cookies and made our way back to Germany.
By the time we got home, the tape I used to fix my shoe had worn away. That's how I knew it was good walk.
Once we made it to Kreuzlingen, we tried to cross the street at one of those zebra crosswalks, but some douchebag decided to almost run us over and then he had the audacity to honk at us! I raised my arms in protest and said, "What! It's a crosswalk!" Then he made a sign that means I'm stupid. I should've kicked his car. After that, we were scared to cross the street.
I saw a man and his dog, and his dog was trying to bite him, so he kept yanking it up in the air by it's leash. I was like, "Christ, if someone kept holding me up in mid-air by a leash, I'd try to bite them too!" I don't understand why some people get animals if they don't like them.
After roaming around the town for a bit, we finally stumbled across a mall. We almost circled the entire building before we found an entrance. What kind of mall only has 1 entrance?? A Swiss mall. Inside, the mall was circular, like a slinky. The grocery store, COOP, was gigantic. The first thing we saw was the beer aisle. We were like kids in a candy store. They had all my favorite beer! Well, almost.. no Canadian beer.. but they did have cans of Dr. Pepper. We also found Canadian Bison steaks, but they cost about 30 swiss francs, and we only took out 20. So, we bought a bunch of beer and some cookies and made our way back to Germany.
By the time we got home, the tape I used to fix my shoe had worn away. That's how I knew it was good walk.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
A sea rant
This girl on my friends list on Facebook posting something recently that didn't sit too well with me. Her status update read, "Can you get worms from eating raw seal heart?" Her friends comments are what irked me. One replied, "I hope so!" while others re-iterated what had been said about the gov. gen. Michaëlle Jean. Last week she went to Native ceremony in Nunavet and was offered the heart of a seal they had hunted for the feast. Usually the heart is reserved for the Elders since it is considered a delicacy--the best part. Had she declined, she would have been disrespecting the ceremony.
In the past few years, the world has grown soft for the seals of Canada. Now it is unfashionable, or unfathomable to use any type of seal product. Being a member of western civilization, it's quite easy to avoid wearing seal skin coats, eating seal meat, or using seal fat as oil for my lamps. However, there are thousands of Inuits and first nations who rely on hunting seals just to survive. They aren't out there on the ice clubbing baby seals to death like in the propaganda photos Peta peddles. They use the entire seal and thank the creator for allowing them to live another day by providing said seal.
Celebrities like Pamela Anderson and Morrisey have openly said they will boycott Canada until the seal hunt stops. I'm not saying I'm for the seal hunt that goes on every year, but for Canadians to start turning their back on the First nations because they are using seals, and have been using seals, as a way to survive. What about the impact that the celebrities are making on the world? Does Pamela Anderson thing that her SUV and Mansions are powered by a magical concoction that has no repercussions on the environment? What about all the "bling" she wears? I'm sure she's one of those people who subscribes to the idea of "Ice Diamonds" as opposed to "Blood Diamonds." Blood diamonds come from africa where women and children lost their lives just to mine them. Ice diamonds apparently are guilt free since they come from Canada and no one was harmed in harvesting them. Are you kidding me! Diamond companies de-water lakes, re-route communities, destroy migration paths just to get at these stupid rocks.
So some people might say, "So what, why do they have to hunt these seals? It's the 21st century. Can't they just eat pizza pops like the rest of us?" Yeah, because the 21st century is so amazing. Our generation, our culture is so great, right? Our economy is sliding further and further every day and there's nothing we can do about it. A plague is looming above our heads. Weapons of mass destruction threaten our entire way of living, and all we can think about is how many GB our iphone has, what character should be kicked off our favorite show, and what to wear that won't make us look fat. Why would you want to be part of this society if you didn't have to be? Seal meat is high in vitamin B. Vitamin B makes your blood thicker so if you're living in -40 degree weather, you're not going to drop dead from hyperthermia, which has happened in communities where western powers took over and overpriced convenience stores were all the people had access to. Not only is that disgusting, but when the native people started showing signs of hyperthermia, the police mistook them for being drunk and shrugged it off without helping them.
I guess what I'm getting at is that Canadians shouldn't be afraid of the seal. It's not only cute to look at, it's also a great source of food, clothing, and oil. And I don't wish worms on the Elders of the native communities. As Michaëlle Jean said, "Vegetarians make a choice in their life. I haven't made this choice. When I eat lamb, I know that I am eating a lamb. When I eat veal, I know that I am eating a veal. Those, too, are very cute animals."
In the past few years, the world has grown soft for the seals of Canada. Now it is unfashionable, or unfathomable to use any type of seal product. Being a member of western civilization, it's quite easy to avoid wearing seal skin coats, eating seal meat, or using seal fat as oil for my lamps. However, there are thousands of Inuits and first nations who rely on hunting seals just to survive. They aren't out there on the ice clubbing baby seals to death like in the propaganda photos Peta peddles. They use the entire seal and thank the creator for allowing them to live another day by providing said seal.
Celebrities like Pamela Anderson and Morrisey have openly said they will boycott Canada until the seal hunt stops. I'm not saying I'm for the seal hunt that goes on every year, but for Canadians to start turning their back on the First nations because they are using seals, and have been using seals, as a way to survive. What about the impact that the celebrities are making on the world? Does Pamela Anderson thing that her SUV and Mansions are powered by a magical concoction that has no repercussions on the environment? What about all the "bling" she wears? I'm sure she's one of those people who subscribes to the idea of "Ice Diamonds" as opposed to "Blood Diamonds." Blood diamonds come from africa where women and children lost their lives just to mine them. Ice diamonds apparently are guilt free since they come from Canada and no one was harmed in harvesting them. Are you kidding me! Diamond companies de-water lakes, re-route communities, destroy migration paths just to get at these stupid rocks.
So some people might say, "So what, why do they have to hunt these seals? It's the 21st century. Can't they just eat pizza pops like the rest of us?" Yeah, because the 21st century is so amazing. Our generation, our culture is so great, right? Our economy is sliding further and further every day and there's nothing we can do about it. A plague is looming above our heads. Weapons of mass destruction threaten our entire way of living, and all we can think about is how many GB our iphone has, what character should be kicked off our favorite show, and what to wear that won't make us look fat. Why would you want to be part of this society if you didn't have to be? Seal meat is high in vitamin B. Vitamin B makes your blood thicker so if you're living in -40 degree weather, you're not going to drop dead from hyperthermia, which has happened in communities where western powers took over and overpriced convenience stores were all the people had access to. Not only is that disgusting, but when the native people started showing signs of hyperthermia, the police mistook them for being drunk and shrugged it off without helping them.
I guess what I'm getting at is that Canadians shouldn't be afraid of the seal. It's not only cute to look at, it's also a great source of food, clothing, and oil. And I don't wish worms on the Elders of the native communities. As Michaëlle Jean said, "Vegetarians make a choice in their life. I haven't made this choice. When I eat lamb, I know that I am eating a lamb. When I eat veal, I know that I am eating a veal. Those, too, are very cute animals."
Thursday, May 28, 2009
strawberries
May is coming to an end. I think it's the first May in a long time that hasn't been terrible. There are still three days left, so maybe I'm jinxing myself. Anna is fucking with my flow right now. I'm digressing, don't even get me started on her! Anyway, May has always been awful for me. Ever since I was 14. I think that's when I first got the depression. I remember sitting in my room listening to Celine Dion (on the radio.... ) and sitting on my floor trying to roll a joint and just feeling this overwhelming sadness. No sadness this month. Maybe it's the intensly hot weather or the erratic thunderstorms that are keeping my emotions in check.
There was a job posting in the paper for a strawberry picker. I think that would be fun. I think I would have to buy a prairie dress, a gigantic straw hat, and a satchel and learn some chuch hymns in order to fit the part. Or, maybe I should buy some overalls... Are there lots of bees near strawberries? If so, no deal. I remember Beefcake used to love to hang out in the strawberry patch in my mom's backyard. I miss that guy. Harvey this summer! He is going to love the backyard. And mom is going to love him.
There was a job posting in the paper for a strawberry picker. I think that would be fun. I think I would have to buy a prairie dress, a gigantic straw hat, and a satchel and learn some chuch hymns in order to fit the part. Or, maybe I should buy some overalls... Are there lots of bees near strawberries? If so, no deal. I remember Beefcake used to love to hang out in the strawberry patch in my mom's backyard. I miss that guy. Harvey this summer! He is going to love the backyard. And mom is going to love him.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
so good it makes your asshole hang out
In my dream last night, I was in a bar having a drinking contest. At the count of 3, we all downed our beers. I was surprised how quickly I drank mine, but I still didn't win. Eli took me home, and I was feel a little drunk even though I had only drank one beer. We got to our street, which looked more like a street in Berlin, and all the street lights were turned off (They turn off some street lights in some cities to save on energy. Here they turn off cross walk lights.. they'd rather save on safety than energy). Once we stepped into the dark street, I couldn't see anything. I made him hold my hand and guide me back home. When I opened my eyes, I was sitting on a couch in an apartment.
After that, I was the youngest child in a family that didn't like me. There was magazine open on a chair with a picture of a pig with it's asshole hanging out. It was supposed to be some sort of advertisement--it's so good it makes your asshole hang out. Fin.
I have cramps today and the incessant piano playing isn't doing them any good. They keep playing all those songs that are always on the demo part of a keyboard... I used to turn those on and pretend I was playing the piano. Oh, they finally stopped but the children are still screaming. The children were screaming... THE CHILDREN WERE SCREAMING!! Oh Hook, what a great movie.
After that, I was the youngest child in a family that didn't like me. There was magazine open on a chair with a picture of a pig with it's asshole hanging out. It was supposed to be some sort of advertisement--it's so good it makes your asshole hang out. Fin.
I have cramps today and the incessant piano playing isn't doing them any good. They keep playing all those songs that are always on the demo part of a keyboard... I used to turn those on and pretend I was playing the piano. Oh, they finally stopped but the children are still screaming. The children were screaming... THE CHILDREN WERE SCREAMING!! Oh Hook, what a great movie.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Do dogs eat horses?
I'm reading my livejournal from 2005. I miss my everyday musings, so I'm going to attempt to keep up with this thing.. again.
Yesterday we went to this little village outside of Konstanz to see this canyon. Anna decided not to tell me how far or how long it would take us to reach said canyon. After an hour or so of hiking along a narrow, muddy path, a sign said "2.5 km" I wouldn't have minded so much if it wasn't 7 p.m. and 27 degrees out! Anyway, I agreed to trek on but only for another half an hour since I didn't want to get trapped in the forest after dark... that's when the german werewolves come out...
We came to a fork in the road. On one side there was a girl with a horse, on the other side, rabid dogs. Seriously, the ran from their masters toward the horse all barking with the hackles up. Anna stayed back because she thought the dogs were going to rip the horse apart then get all blood lust and go after us. We decided to avoid the dogs and go up the hill instead. After a few km's, a bees nest, and pond with lots of baby frogs, I decided we went in the wrong direction. We did make it to another canyon, which I thought was the original one, but Anna said there was supposed to be a beach and a kiosk.
Holding back my frustration, we turned around and went back home. We did find a nice free beach though.
Yesterday we went to this little village outside of Konstanz to see this canyon. Anna decided not to tell me how far or how long it would take us to reach said canyon. After an hour or so of hiking along a narrow, muddy path, a sign said "2.5 km" I wouldn't have minded so much if it wasn't 7 p.m. and 27 degrees out! Anyway, I agreed to trek on but only for another half an hour since I didn't want to get trapped in the forest after dark... that's when the german werewolves come out...
We came to a fork in the road. On one side there was a girl with a horse, on the other side, rabid dogs. Seriously, the ran from their masters toward the horse all barking with the hackles up. Anna stayed back because she thought the dogs were going to rip the horse apart then get all blood lust and go after us. We decided to avoid the dogs and go up the hill instead. After a few km's, a bees nest, and pond with lots of baby frogs, I decided we went in the wrong direction. We did make it to another canyon, which I thought was the original one, but Anna said there was supposed to be a beach and a kiosk.
Holding back my frustration, we turned around and went back home. We did find a nice free beach though.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Turn it off
ugh, I really need to stop watching so much T.V. on my computer. I'm losing my sense of reality! Take for instance, yesterday my nose started to bleed while Anna and I were on the way to the grocery store.
"I can't go in there like this, can you handle it on your own?" I asked her. She agreed and I walked back the apartment. By the time I was home, the nosebleed had almost stopped. Great, I thought, I can relax and maybe play some GTA until Anna comes home. No chance of that. As soon as I got rid of the clot, my nose started gushing blood. This never happens! I always get rid of the clot, but I guess I was a little too quick on the trigger.
I stood in the bathroom over the sink for about 10 minutes, trying to get the bleeding to calm down. It just kept gushing out, down my face, onto my shirt. Then, I recalled an episode of Six Feet Under that I watched a few weeks ago where the beginning death scene was a lady waiting in line to see a Dr. Phil like personality. Her nose started to bleed, so she stayed outside to wait for it to stop, but then it started gushing and gushing and then she died. Well, as soon as I remembered this I started to freak the fuck out. It didn't help that blood was pouring into the back of my throat and filling up my mouth. I grabbed the phone to call Anna and make her come back home, but she left her phone at home. When I heard her cell phone ring, my heart started pounding, and I started to hyperventilate. And still, the nosebleed had not let up. So, I called my mom.
Eli answered the phone. I tried to sound as calm as possible, but he knew something was wrong. So for the next 15 minutes, he and my mom talked me off a ledge and gave me several different tips on trying to stop this monster of a nosebleed.
By the time Anna had come home; the bathroom was speckled with blood, I had given up on toilet paper and was just using a face cloth, and the bleeding had finally slowed down. There was no brain hemorrhage, just an insane, stubborn nose bleed. Maybe it's time to get my nose cauterized again...
"I can't go in there like this, can you handle it on your own?" I asked her. She agreed and I walked back the apartment. By the time I was home, the nosebleed had almost stopped. Great, I thought, I can relax and maybe play some GTA until Anna comes home. No chance of that. As soon as I got rid of the clot, my nose started gushing blood. This never happens! I always get rid of the clot, but I guess I was a little too quick on the trigger.
I stood in the bathroom over the sink for about 10 minutes, trying to get the bleeding to calm down. It just kept gushing out, down my face, onto my shirt. Then, I recalled an episode of Six Feet Under that I watched a few weeks ago where the beginning death scene was a lady waiting in line to see a Dr. Phil like personality. Her nose started to bleed, so she stayed outside to wait for it to stop, but then it started gushing and gushing and then she died. Well, as soon as I remembered this I started to freak the fuck out. It didn't help that blood was pouring into the back of my throat and filling up my mouth. I grabbed the phone to call Anna and make her come back home, but she left her phone at home. When I heard her cell phone ring, my heart started pounding, and I started to hyperventilate. And still, the nosebleed had not let up. So, I called my mom.
Eli answered the phone. I tried to sound as calm as possible, but he knew something was wrong. So for the next 15 minutes, he and my mom talked me off a ledge and gave me several different tips on trying to stop this monster of a nosebleed.
By the time Anna had come home; the bathroom was speckled with blood, I had given up on toilet paper and was just using a face cloth, and the bleeding had finally slowed down. There was no brain hemorrhage, just an insane, stubborn nose bleed. Maybe it's time to get my nose cauterized again...
Thursday, May 14, 2009
This is how I remember
I woke up last night because I couldn't breathe. It felt like someone was sitting on my chest. I walked around the apartment to try to loosen it up, but I ended up just falling asleep thinking I was going to die. Maybe it's the weather.
Yesterday it rained the hardest I've ever seen it rain--anywhere. I told Anna that if we got naked and walked outside with some shampoo, our hair would've been shiny and clean. I like the thunderstorms here. The thunder sounds like the sky is slowly ripping open like a loose seam on a tight pair of pants. As Anna and I walked home from the grocery store, the sky was flashing and breaking apart above us. We looked at each other and giggled always remembering that first night we spent together.
Yesterday it rained the hardest I've ever seen it rain--anywhere. I told Anna that if we got naked and walked outside with some shampoo, our hair would've been shiny and clean. I like the thunderstorms here. The thunder sounds like the sky is slowly ripping open like a loose seam on a tight pair of pants. As Anna and I walked home from the grocery store, the sky was flashing and breaking apart above us. We looked at each other and giggled always remembering that first night we spent together.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Meersburg
Yesterday, we went to Meersburg. It's across the lake and it takes about 20 minutes to get there by ferry. It's pretty touristy there but not as bad as the altstadt in Konstanz. I want to rip my hair out when I get stuck in a crowd down there.
That is one of the oldest castles that someone still lives in. We tried to find the entrance to go visit it because apparently there's all this cool stuff in it, but we just ended up climbing a lot of stairs only to go down a hill again. Oh, and look at that van! It looks totally normal to me now but when I first got to Germany last year, I was like WTF!
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Insel Mainau
Insel Mainau is this little flower island off of Konstanz. It's probably a bit smaller than Protection Island. Anna and went there a couple of weeks ago since we got free ferry passes and entry to the Island. Otherwise, we'd be paying 30 euros... which would mean we would not have visited it because I'm cheap and like to spend my money on more important things...
The Romanov's used to summer here. Actually, I don't know what they did here, but the last building is a church (pic below shows the inside) and a bunch of them are buried there. Also, Church's are so nice and cool to escape the heat!
I love my orchids, and they do too. This picture was taken inside this gigantic greenhouse where the royal family would eat. There's palm trees, parrots, and hundreds of orchids all arranged in different tiki themes..
We saw a wedding. Actually, we see a lot of weddings. Konstanz is like the Vancouver Island of South Germany. It's so beautiful there.
A bit of Konstanz
Where the banner says VHS is my school. I don't know who those women are or what they're looking at... and below is the huge cathedral that tells me when class is over every day. It's the only time I enjoy the bells ringing.
This is a statue infront of the burgerbüro that is so fucking ugly. I don't know what it's purpose is but it's a bunch of naked men or women in a tub and on the side of it they have babies driving cars and giving the finger and spitting.. it's disgusting.
I love these buildings. I'm sure it's like a million euros to live in one.. but they're so pretty
Monday, May 4, 2009
Broken German Robot
I start my german course tomorrow, and I'm totally freaked out. It's all in german.. there are no english explainations.. I'm freaked out because there's usually one word per sentence that I don't understand. Doesn't seem like too big of a deal, right? Unfortunately, the word I don't understand is usually the word required for understanding the whole sentence. It's like "Please mashrnidlci the sentence and fihgoijw the words." Sure thing... right on it... Oh well. I'll bring my german dictionary and just pray that the teacher doesn't want me to talk all the time.
I took out my lip piercing the other day. I did it while intoxicated after Anna and I visited the lesbian bar here. Anna thought I would regret it in the morning, but I've wanted to do this for awhile because I was pretty sure I was destroying my teeth by constantly playing with it. Now I have a little hole while I hope because a little smaller and is often mistaken for a freckle. Thank god I have so many freckles. I'm suffering from phantom limb though and keep trying to play it. Why isn't the metal scraping against my gums!
Oh yeah, the gay bar.... I used to read this political lesbian comic back in the day called "Dykes to watch out for." It wasn't funny or thoughtful... it was all about PCness, the conservative agenda, global warming, dykes on the job, and all that other crap that most people don't want to see in a comic, but I still loved it. Anyway, when we walked into the bar, Bella Donna, I felt like I had just stepped into one of the DTWOF comic strips. At any moment, I thought Moe would saunter in to chastise me about going to starbucks and buying books online... Bad vibes.
I took out my lip piercing the other day. I did it while intoxicated after Anna and I visited the lesbian bar here. Anna thought I would regret it in the morning, but I've wanted to do this for awhile because I was pretty sure I was destroying my teeth by constantly playing with it. Now I have a little hole while I hope because a little smaller and is often mistaken for a freckle. Thank god I have so many freckles. I'm suffering from phantom limb though and keep trying to play it. Why isn't the metal scraping against my gums!
Oh yeah, the gay bar.... I used to read this political lesbian comic back in the day called "Dykes to watch out for." It wasn't funny or thoughtful... it was all about PCness, the conservative agenda, global warming, dykes on the job, and all that other crap that most people don't want to see in a comic, but I still loved it. Anyway, when we walked into the bar, Bella Donna, I felt like I had just stepped into one of the DTWOF comic strips. At any moment, I thought Moe would saunter in to chastise me about going to starbucks and buying books online... Bad vibes.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Every second word
I have no followers, and I am afraid to go outside.
Last night I dreamt about finding surgical masks to cover my face with. I went overkill with 3 or 4 of them, which just ended up suffocating me. I also had my alien invasion dream. Since I've been curious about that warehouse on the waterfront that is built into a cliff, I've been wondering about what it would be like to live in a rock... well, last night my dreams were answered, and I was hiding out in a rock from the aliens. When I went outside for a breath of air, the sky lit up with hundreds of planes and explosions. I just kept repeating, "Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no!" Like I could just will them away. When I woke up, my head was spinning, and my muscles were protesting as they always do after a nightmare. What is that? Is that what happens when you don't use your adrenaline rush? Well, it fucking hurts.
It hasn't hit Germany... yet. I need to stop thinking about this. I wish the only english channel wasn't fucking CNN. I hate CNN. Greg and I were talking about how much panic they induce. When I came back to Canada last summer, all I had watched was CNN, and I figured everyone else was freaking out about the economy, jobs, war, disease.... no, no one cared. Now just think about how they're actually handling the economy, loss of jobs, war, and disease? Everytime I skim past it my anxiety smashes itself against my heart and stomach. I'm much safer just watching the Gilmore Girls in German.
Last night I dreamt about finding surgical masks to cover my face with. I went overkill with 3 or 4 of them, which just ended up suffocating me. I also had my alien invasion dream. Since I've been curious about that warehouse on the waterfront that is built into a cliff, I've been wondering about what it would be like to live in a rock... well, last night my dreams were answered, and I was hiding out in a rock from the aliens. When I went outside for a breath of air, the sky lit up with hundreds of planes and explosions. I just kept repeating, "Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no!" Like I could just will them away. When I woke up, my head was spinning, and my muscles were protesting as they always do after a nightmare. What is that? Is that what happens when you don't use your adrenaline rush? Well, it fucking hurts.
It hasn't hit Germany... yet. I need to stop thinking about this. I wish the only english channel wasn't fucking CNN. I hate CNN. Greg and I were talking about how much panic they induce. When I came back to Canada last summer, all I had watched was CNN, and I figured everyone else was freaking out about the economy, jobs, war, disease.... no, no one cared. Now just think about how they're actually handling the economy, loss of jobs, war, and disease? Everytime I skim past it my anxiety smashes itself against my heart and stomach. I'm much safer just watching the Gilmore Girls in German.
Monday, April 27, 2009
I suffer from a little crazy
I curse myself for ever reading that stupid book, The coming Plague. Actually, I think I would hate to be Laurie Garett. I wonder if she just stays inside all day wearing a hazmat outfit.. I mean, I would if I knew all that shit. I wish I had one right now! I'm sure people would think it was perfectly normal if I walked down the street like that... or better yet, I would LOVE to live in a bubble like The Boy in the Bubble. Then I wouldn't be scared of shit like the swine flu. Unfortunatley, I don't live in a bubble and I am scared of sicknesses.
A few years ago, I had the opportunity to study in Prague. I turned it down because I heard there were cases of the avian flu near there. What kind of crazy am I? I just need to stay cool. Wash my hands, don't stand near strangers who are coughing, get some fresh air, and I'll be okay.. right? Right.
In other news, I booked my ticket back to Canada. I'll arrive in Vancouver June 20th, and I'll stay there until we go to Edmonton. Once I'm back from Edmonton it's off to nanaimo until september. I need to find some interesting things to do in the 'mo and a job.. I need a job.
A few years ago, I had the opportunity to study in Prague. I turned it down because I heard there were cases of the avian flu near there. What kind of crazy am I? I just need to stay cool. Wash my hands, don't stand near strangers who are coughing, get some fresh air, and I'll be okay.. right? Right.
In other news, I booked my ticket back to Canada. I'll arrive in Vancouver June 20th, and I'll stay there until we go to Edmonton. Once I'm back from Edmonton it's off to nanaimo until september. I need to find some interesting things to do in the 'mo and a job.. I need a job.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Thank you for being a friend
Bea Arthur has died. My throat is all tight and I totally want to cry. I never get emotional when actors die, well except when they portray it really well on screen.... But, I've been watching the Golden Girls since I was a kid. Sometimes I would pretend I was sick just so I could sit at home and watch the Golden Girls with my mom. Those days were the best days of my early teenage years. I loved Dorothy, her sarcasm, her wit... Bea Arthur was an amazing actor that brought a lot of people joy. Rest in peace, Bea.. thank you for being a friend.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Konstanz
We've moved into our apartment in Konstanz-Peterhausen. It's a very dorm like building. I'd say there about 100+ apartments in this building, each are about 25 square metres. Despite the smallness, I feel at home. Konstanz is like Nanaimo's grandfather, so to speak. In the altstadt, there are buildings that were built as early as 900 A.D. Now that's impressive. If it wasn't so crowded all the time, I would actually enjoy hanging around the altstadt.. but I can't handle large crowds of people constantly pushing each other to get through the narrow, cobbled streets. It makes me anxious and angry.
Yesterday, we walked across the Swiss border. There's no border control on the waterfront and the border is made up of art. Kreuzlingen, a Swiss town (I think that's the name) merges with Konstanz, so we walked on over to Switzerland, bought a frozen beer, and walked around the tierpark. I finally remember to bring some crackers for the swans. I was so excited when I saw one, so I rushed down to feed it thinking it was going to be all grateful... but no, it raised it's wings and hissed at me and started to charge me. I threw the cracker at it and ran away. Stupid swiss swans.
There's a student bar in the apartment building next to ours called Winny's that claims to have Karaoke. This is exciting. We also need to check out the frauen für frauen bar, Bella Donna's. I hope I shed some of this weight in the next few weeks.
Yesterday, we walked across the Swiss border. There's no border control on the waterfront and the border is made up of art. Kreuzlingen, a Swiss town (I think that's the name) merges with Konstanz, so we walked on over to Switzerland, bought a frozen beer, and walked around the tierpark. I finally remember to bring some crackers for the swans. I was so excited when I saw one, so I rushed down to feed it thinking it was going to be all grateful... but no, it raised it's wings and hissed at me and started to charge me. I threw the cracker at it and ran away. Stupid swiss swans.
There's a student bar in the apartment building next to ours called Winny's that claims to have Karaoke. This is exciting. We also need to check out the frauen für frauen bar, Bella Donna's. I hope I shed some of this weight in the next few weeks.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Spending the afternoon with Anna's oma
"Stalin ruined everything."
Anna's grandma, Anna Sr. is probably the most interesting person I've ever met. It's just too bad I can't speak to her properly. The whole hand gestures and mumbly german don't sit well with her. She does get excited when she can understand my German though. I just hope I'll be able to have a real conversation with her before she dies.
She was born in Odessa, Ukraine in 1928 to German parents. The queen had invited german families to migrate to Ukraine and set up farms without losing their german backgrounds. Everything was going fine until WWII. The Russians were getting closer by the minute, and it was time for them to flee. It happened while she was at school. Everyone was in a panic and just picked up and started away from the Russians. Her teacher, a gypsy, led them as far as he could. They kept seeing trucks full of Nazis, but each time one passed, they flew by without stopping. Finally, the teacher found a truck and told the students, "Okay, we'll get into this one! Hurry now students!" They all piled into the back of the truck and waited for the truck to start to whisk them away from the Russians. Unfortunately, there was no driver--the truck had been deserted.
The students got seperated into 2 groups, Anna was in the first group while the teacher was in the second group. Anna's group made it to a group of "Police Officers" (this is what she calls the Nazi's) that helped her group get on a train that would take them to Germany. The first group was captured by the Russians. The teacher saw them approaching and just ran away leaving the children behind. Anna, my Anna, never understood why her grandma was so venomous while speaking about gypsy's until she heard this story today.
So, Anna got onto the train. She's sixteen-years-old and is completely seperated from her family. All she has are her two friends, so they make a pact.
"We'll stick together until we find our families."
They stayed on the train, running out at each stop to collect a piece of bread with butter. Finally, they were approaching the German border. But, before they reached the border, they stopped at this train stop where lost family members had posted where they were. Amongst the list was Anna's niece. Farely certain that her niece would lead her to the rest of her family, she said goodbye to her friends and got of the train. Shortly after, she and her family were captured by the Russians. Her friends were rescued by the Americans/Canadian forces where they decided to flee to and make their permanent homes.
The Russians made Anna, her family, and many other prisoners, march to Russia. They had to walk the entire way, through Poland towards Russia. I asked her how long it took, but she couldn't calculate it. She looked at her hands and said, "It took a very long time. Especially because there were children who couldn't walk and we couldn't carry them."
Once they reached the Russian border, they were piled into a train and sent to Kazakstan. The train took 3 months to get there. Once she was there, she was forced to speak Russian and adapt to her foreign surroundings.
That's it for now. I'm going to try to visit her more with Anna so I can learn more. I want to know how Stalin killed her father, how she reconnected with her two friends, and so much more.
Anna's grandma, Anna Sr. is probably the most interesting person I've ever met. It's just too bad I can't speak to her properly. The whole hand gestures and mumbly german don't sit well with her. She does get excited when she can understand my German though. I just hope I'll be able to have a real conversation with her before she dies.
She was born in Odessa, Ukraine in 1928 to German parents. The queen had invited german families to migrate to Ukraine and set up farms without losing their german backgrounds. Everything was going fine until WWII. The Russians were getting closer by the minute, and it was time for them to flee. It happened while she was at school. Everyone was in a panic and just picked up and started away from the Russians. Her teacher, a gypsy, led them as far as he could. They kept seeing trucks full of Nazis, but each time one passed, they flew by without stopping. Finally, the teacher found a truck and told the students, "Okay, we'll get into this one! Hurry now students!" They all piled into the back of the truck and waited for the truck to start to whisk them away from the Russians. Unfortunately, there was no driver--the truck had been deserted.
The students got seperated into 2 groups, Anna was in the first group while the teacher was in the second group. Anna's group made it to a group of "Police Officers" (this is what she calls the Nazi's) that helped her group get on a train that would take them to Germany. The first group was captured by the Russians. The teacher saw them approaching and just ran away leaving the children behind. Anna, my Anna, never understood why her grandma was so venomous while speaking about gypsy's until she heard this story today.
So, Anna got onto the train. She's sixteen-years-old and is completely seperated from her family. All she has are her two friends, so they make a pact.
"We'll stick together until we find our families."
They stayed on the train, running out at each stop to collect a piece of bread with butter. Finally, they were approaching the German border. But, before they reached the border, they stopped at this train stop where lost family members had posted where they were. Amongst the list was Anna's niece. Farely certain that her niece would lead her to the rest of her family, she said goodbye to her friends and got of the train. Shortly after, she and her family were captured by the Russians. Her friends were rescued by the Americans/Canadian forces where they decided to flee to and make their permanent homes.
The Russians made Anna, her family, and many other prisoners, march to Russia. They had to walk the entire way, through Poland towards Russia. I asked her how long it took, but she couldn't calculate it. She looked at her hands and said, "It took a very long time. Especially because there were children who couldn't walk and we couldn't carry them."
Once they reached the Russian border, they were piled into a train and sent to Kazakstan. The train took 3 months to get there. Once she was there, she was forced to speak Russian and adapt to her foreign surroundings.
That's it for now. I'm going to try to visit her more with Anna so I can learn more. I want to know how Stalin killed her father, how she reconnected with her two friends, and so much more.
Just because you're bi-polar don't mean you can hang with us
The other day, a woman decided to jump into the polar bear enclosure at the Berlin zoo. I've been to this zoo and seen these polar bears, if you remember...
The large one lying down is the father of Knut, and one of the ladies beside him is Knut's bastard mother who rejected him. They had to seperate Knut because his daddy would've eaten him. Now some crazy lady decides to jump in and join the group?
Looks like they rejected her ass too. The polar bears of Berlin zoo are an elite group.
Also, I really love how there are videos and picture's of this shit. I felt like I was in The Happening while watching this. Except she didn't die. The zoo keepers managed to pull her to safety while the bears swarmed around her in the little pond.
Sometimes peoples logic just doesn't work.
The large one lying down is the father of Knut, and one of the ladies beside him is Knut's bastard mother who rejected him. They had to seperate Knut because his daddy would've eaten him. Now some crazy lady decides to jump in and join the group?
Looks like they rejected her ass too. The polar bears of Berlin zoo are an elite group.
Also, I really love how there are videos and picture's of this shit. I felt like I was in The Happening while watching this. Except she didn't die. The zoo keepers managed to pull her to safety while the bears swarmed around her in the little pond.
Sometimes peoples logic just doesn't work.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Finding obscurity in a 99 cents bin
I was thinking about music today and the thought of obscure music crossed my mind. I remember seeking out record shops to find the latest cd from subpop or killrockstars. You couldn't find that shit at A&B sound or the wal-mart cd kiosk. It was fun searching for the latest indie bands and listening to music that your friends made faces at. Yesterday, I was trying to find new music and the first place I decided to look for the new "cool" music was on the gossip girl website. Is there such thing as obscure music anymore? I think websites like myspace, last.fm, and itunes have destroyed obscure music.
Sure, each town has their own little gem of obscurity--an awesome band that hasn't been exploited on teen television dramas or Ipod commercials. It's like counter-culture has met up with popular culture and there's no where to hide. There are no more dark spaces--everything is wide open now thanks to mr. internet.
Or maybe I'm just old.
Sure, each town has their own little gem of obscurity--an awesome band that hasn't been exploited on teen television dramas or Ipod commercials. It's like counter-culture has met up with popular culture and there's no where to hide. There are no more dark spaces--everything is wide open now thanks to mr. internet.
Or maybe I'm just old.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Afternoon binge haircut
Spring has arrived in Germany... actually, it seems like Germany decided to skip spring all together and go right to summer. Nothing is in bloom yet so it all feels a bit funny. I guess I have to stop hiding behind my coat and get on the road to fitness! At first it was super easy to go for walks.. but it all gets a little boring. Konstanz will be better. Busy streets, waterfronts, and nothing to do!
My mom wants me to come back earlier so Eli can go up north for his job. I would like to, but I don't want to leave Anna so quickly. Last year was hard enough so why put ourselves through that when it's not that neccesary. I think by moving to Nanaimo instead of Vancouver so he can go up north is okay enough.
I need 100 more euros for my ticket home.
Anna got her hair cut today. She doesn't like it, so she decided to chug a glass of vodka and pass out at 2 in the afternoon. I love my wife. I also love her hair cut. I don't know what she's going on about, it looks amazing. Better than the two toned, uneven hair cut she had before (that I gave her with a leg shaver). The colour is chocolate brown and the cut is all nice and layers. I probably shouldn't be writing about her drunkeness on here. She's not a drunk, I swear.
My mom wants me to come back earlier so Eli can go up north for his job. I would like to, but I don't want to leave Anna so quickly. Last year was hard enough so why put ourselves through that when it's not that neccesary. I think by moving to Nanaimo instead of Vancouver so he can go up north is okay enough.
I need 100 more euros for my ticket home.
Anna got her hair cut today. She doesn't like it, so she decided to chug a glass of vodka and pass out at 2 in the afternoon. I love my wife. I also love her hair cut. I don't know what she's going on about, it looks amazing. Better than the two toned, uneven hair cut she had before (that I gave her with a leg shaver). The colour is chocolate brown and the cut is all nice and layers. I probably shouldn't be writing about her drunkeness on here. She's not a drunk, I swear.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Positively 4th street
Sometimes I get upset when I think about the past. I mean, that's a given, right?
I could feel the decline for some time. I don't like the feeling I get inside when I'm watching someone crumble in front of me and there's nothing I can do. I should've acted differently, but all I could feel was anger. Passive-aggressive anger. Then, the last shove and it was all over. I guess what really bothers me is the fact that they don't even care that we're not friends anymore. Or maybe they like to pretend we are... but we're not. I have no idea what they're doing, how they are, who they are... and vice versa.
It was just so easy to let it all slip away. I just wish I could forget that they ever existed. My life would be a lot easier that way. No anger. No sadness. No disappointment. But, it's not so easy for me.
I could feel the decline for some time. I don't like the feeling I get inside when I'm watching someone crumble in front of me and there's nothing I can do. I should've acted differently, but all I could feel was anger. Passive-aggressive anger. Then, the last shove and it was all over. I guess what really bothers me is the fact that they don't even care that we're not friends anymore. Or maybe they like to pretend we are... but we're not. I have no idea what they're doing, how they are, who they are... and vice versa.
It was just so easy to let it all slip away. I just wish I could forget that they ever existed. My life would be a lot easier that way. No anger. No sadness. No disappointment. But, it's not so easy for me.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
The battle
Our springtime weather was short lived. The snow has returned. It's thick, wet snow that quickly covered all colour early spring had brought us. The other day, we went for a run around the small lake down the street. While we were stretching, I kept hearing croaks. Slowly, I crept towards the lake and saw about 4 or 5 bullfrogs sitting on the bank singing to each other. I tried to motion to Anna and quietly as I could, but it wasn't quiet enough, they stopped their song and all but one jumped into the water. I think he was on watch or something because he wouldn't move. Even when I poked him with a stick! Then, I thought he might be dead so I kinda threw the stick at him... that made him move. Anna chastised me after that and said, "Oh, and you claim to love animals?"
Are frogs animals? While I was looking for a picture of this frog sign that comes up every spring along roads (they literally cover the streets making them very slippery... and gross) I found this
without owls there's no toast! Without moles there's no pizza!!! AND without the frog there is no beer! Well, I won't be throwing sticks at frogs anymore. Also, I love owls. They look like cats with wings.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Nightmares Episode One
I just saw this ad on craigslist.de calling for submissions for stories about nightmares. Now, as much as I hate it when people share their previous nights dream, I think it would be pretty interesting to see a graphic novel portraying all these different peoples unconscious fears. Lovecraft came up with most of his story ideas from recurring nightmares and night terrors he had as a child. So, I'm going to try a few of my nightmares out on here.
The recurring nightmare: The End of the world
The bombs. I wake up in a cold sweat, my body is shaking after being jolted awake. I have just dreamt about the bombs. I lie very still in bed and slowly unwind the nightmare, making it make sense in my head before I try to explain it. I've found, if I don't break the whole dream down, when I try to tell someone about it, it all disappears, and I'm left telling my eager listener, "Well, I'm in a room... and there's this guy... arg! I can't explain it, but I can see it!"
In this dream, I'm at my mother's house in Nanaimo and it's 2001, currently, not in the dream. My mom, brothers, and I sit crowded around the television watching an announcement from the President of the United States. He tells us that there's nothing we can do. We have exhausted all efforts to make this good. He has no choice but to drop the bomb at 9:30 p.m.
"No!" I scream, "Isn't there something we can do? We have to stop them!"
No one will make eye contact with me. They lower their eyes and turn back to the tv screen. Now, the image is of a city. Camera's are switching from the city view to the insides of people's houses.
"Oh my god," I say as I realize that we have to watch them die.
The bomb falls towards the city and the tv screen shows a young couple taking shelter beside their bed, they're holding hands and telling each other how much they love one another. The bomb hits and their limbs are ripped from their bodies. The camera's pan across the city, weaving in and out of people's homes. Nothing is left.
"We're next," I say.
And then I wake up.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Trying to fit it all in one box
It is our last week in Berlin. We've been trying to cram as much as possible in the past few weeks. We went to the Museum of Natural History and saw the Darwin exhibit, which was good except for the hundreds of screaming babies. Seriously, there were strollers everywhere. I tried to maneuvre around this one guy and his stroller and he held his foot out to trip me! I should've tripped and dragged him down with me. I am so glad to be getting out of this asshole filled city where people don't understand how lines work or how to make room for other people on the sidewalk.
It's been snowing on and off for the past week. After a huge dump of snow, we decided to go and check out the Berlin Zoo, Germany's oldest zoo. Some german comedian was being filmed feeding the polar bears. I didn't pay any attention to him since the polar bears were much more amusing.
After that, we saw the penguins, which were begging me to pet them. Seriously, you can stand right next to their pool, and they swim around you and shake their tails. I was too afraid of catching some sort of penguin parasite (and of getting caught and thrown out of the zoo) so I resisted.
The biggest attraction of the Berlin zoo is the Polar Bear Knut. When he was born, his mother rejected him (bitch) which made his father (both pictured above) want to scarf him up for dinner. He had to be seperated and raised by a zoo employee, who unfortunatly died this past christmas. The zoo is talking about getting rid of Knut because he needs a mate and they're too cheap to buy him one even tho he makes them all their money! Seriously, the gift shop was full of Knut polar bear paraphenilia. Poor Knut. He also has some emotional problems, like, he can't stand to not have attention and at x-mas time when everyone was unwrapping presents, the zoo keepers had to stand infront of his cage and pretend they were oohing and aahing at him so he'd stop crying. Pretty sad.
We stumbled into the wild cat part of the zoo just as they were being fed. All the cats paced anxiously in their cages, their eyes intent on the zoo keeper. At first, I didn't know what was going on. It reminded me of that part of "The Day After Tomorrow" when all the animals are going crazy at the zoo and the guy's like, "What's going on, Ceaser?" the end of the world, that's what! So, I was a little nervous... that is, until I saw this adorable little guy eating the face off of a bird.
That lioness is hangry! I was actually feeling a bit peckish myself.. until I watched all the animals destroy their food.. which was mostly gigantic rib cages, tins of livers mixed with eggs, or dead birds/rats.
Then we saw some monkeys. They weren't too crazy. We had just missed them eat, so they were all falling asleep. No poop hurling. We ended our four hour visit at the Elephant shack. It was pretty stinky in there, so I took a few pictures and then the camera told me I couldn't take anymore because I was a crazy person who managed to take 170 pictures of animals in 4 hours. I will leave you with the highlights.
Or not... the computer is all crazy now. So enjoy the camel trying to do the splits!
Friday, January 30, 2009
I would like here this
I have used the phrases "Sprechen Sie deutsch?", "Kein Deutsch", and "I don't speak German" way too much this week. Anna started to get the flu on the way back to Berlin. It hit her full force on Monday night leaving her incapacitated to do anything until today. I had to go to the Apotheka, which is German for a pharmacy, and ask the pharmacist if he could speak English. He didn't really answer, just sort of giggled nervously and made a groaning sound that sounded like a no. Anna had told me what to say to him incase, but I mixed up the words so if translated it would sound like "I would like here this!" Yess... I would like here this.
The doctor payed a visit to us last night. After it took Anna 20 minutes to find the number for emergency. Apparentely, it varies for each region and city. It's five numbers.. why do German's have to make everything so complicated? Are they like, "911?? Pft! OUR country has FIVE numbers for emergency which means WE'RE smarter because we have to remeber more.. hah!" Yeah or you die because you can't remember the numbers and it's almost impossible to find the number for it and Germany doesn't have operators so you can't even be funny and be like, "Operator! I need the number for 9-1-1!"
The doctor was a little man who was dressed like he was going to paint a house. His assistant wore a medical mask the entire time and wouldn't even handle the 10 euros that we owed. He tried to tell me something but Berliners speak way too quickly, so all I got out of the sentence was something about our table. I said, "Sorry, I can't speak German.. something on the table?" He looked at me with disgust and then snatched the money out of my hand. Awesome.
So, I'm fine doing shit on my own. I probably look like a giant idiot because they always ask me something after I've paid and I always say "Nein"
"Have a good day!"
"NEIN!"
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Just another day in East Germany?
Yesterday, we embarked on our journey home from Buchen. It takes about ten hours and four trains. I don't mind it because I am one of those creeps who can fall asleep on moving objects (Except planes when I'm alone) Anyway, we arrived in Erfurt, which is East Germany. A few years ago, it was in the news because of the Erfurt Masscare, where a kid shot a bunch of his teachers. It's also where the neo nazi's tried to hold some demonstration, and it's where we found ourselves surrounded by several dozen swarms of police and hundreds of punk kids dressed head to toe in black. Some wore sunglasses and had scarves wrapped around their faces. It seemed like a party for them as they shouted loudly to each other and spread themselves all over the station. Some sat together, cross-legged, on the floor of the Bahnhof, others held each other and whispered in each others ears while laughing at the cops who stood at the ready with riot gear on their hips.
After an uncomfortable visit to the bathroom, Anna and I made our way upstairs to the platform. We tried to stay as far away from the ever expanding crowd of punks but we were enclosed by a circle of Police. Anna pointed out that the whole station was surrounded by them. I looked out onto the street and sure enough four or five police cars stood waiting with their lights flashing.
Our train finally pulled up. As it did, the cops made their way closer to the crowd. One woman cop had a camcorder affixed to a stick so she could record whatever was about to happen. My heart was smashing itself against my chest screaming at me to get the fuck out of there.
Anna and I boarded our train, along with several punk kids, and two cops. The cops left after ten or so stops but the kids remained. Everyone got off the train except me, Anna, and the punks. They shouted at each other, kicked seats, and lit cigarettes, but they left us alone.
When we got to Berlin, they were still everywhere. They seemed even more rowdy. Three of them were on the S-Bahn with us back to Spandau, yelling slogans about Erfurt and "The man who parts his hair on the side"
I've searched the news for any sign that some riot broke out--nothing. Perhaps the cops succeded in keeping the kids at bay.
Why you got to be so scary, East Germany?
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Breaking up the toxins
On monday, I started the master cleanse. It went okay, until yesterday when Anna tempted me, like the devil she is, with her African chicken. I'm sure I'd still be on it, but she was like,
"Why are you torturing yourself? Just eat something! Come on!"
I gave in, and she made me a plate. But, I did lose 4 pounds... I guess that's something. Right now I'm waiting for the Salt water flush to kick in. Delicious. Healthy living! Once we get back to Berlin, I'm going to be all about healthy living.
I'm not really looking forward to coming back here again in a month and staying for a month. I try to tell Anna that her mom is just a constant nag, but she's used to it, so she doesn't see it. It's just pretty lame when Anna's 15-year-old nephew gets treated more like a grown-up than we do simply because he's a man. Alright, I better go turn the tv down and put some socks on before Ida loses her mind!
"Why are you torturing yourself? Just eat something! Come on!"
I gave in, and she made me a plate. But, I did lose 4 pounds... I guess that's something. Right now I'm waiting for the Salt water flush to kick in. Delicious. Healthy living! Once we get back to Berlin, I'm going to be all about healthy living.
I'm not really looking forward to coming back here again in a month and staying for a month. I try to tell Anna that her mom is just a constant nag, but she's used to it, so she doesn't see it. It's just pretty lame when Anna's 15-year-old nephew gets treated more like a grown-up than we do simply because he's a man. Alright, I better go turn the tv down and put some socks on before Ida loses her mind!
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Taking everything into account
I forgot my password, and I could only retrieve in in German. As I was trying to read the German and figure out what to do, my mother-in-law came into our room carrying a chair and speaking German dialect with her heavy Russian accent.
"I have no idea what you're saying," I said to her as she carried the chair to the corner of the room and set it down.
She does this. She's not actually talking to me. She's just giving herself a play by play of what she's doing. If I were to translate it, it would sound something like:
"I have this chair and I'm carrying it to the corner of the bedroom. Now I'm standing on the chair and looking to see what's on top of Anna's closet. Edgar said he needed something, and I'm pretty sure I put it on here. After, I will step down off the chair-carefully, and I will call my daugther to gossip about what happened at Igor's today."
It was probably rude of me to even intrude on her reiteration of her tasks!
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