always thinking never doing

I got my old job back at Horizon. Today is day three. I woke up feeling like someone had been torturing me all night. You know that kind of torture where they pull you apart slowly by your wrists and your ankles?

It's so weird to be back there. I have major sensory memories. The first day, it all came rushing back, and I felt like I was back in 2007. Even though it's a different warehouse, sometimes I feel like I'm back at the old place because the layout is basically the same. I'm feeling very maudlin and I hate that she won't even speak to me now.

I deserve it.

Now I am rolling into summer but it doesn't feel like summer. It doesn't really feel like anything. I feel like I am waiting for something to happen. I am waiting for the other shoe to drop. I'm waiting for a catastrophe.

I think I just need to go back to school.