Just a dream.

Last night I lived in a house by the sea. I was walking down the waterfront when the water started to rise. Everyone stopped and looked at the waves in awe until they started to grow bigger and bigger and get closer and closer. They all ran away, but I stayed and watched the 40 ft waves crash into the shore. The water threatened to take me away with it, but I stayed. Then, the water began to recede, the tide was going out, or so I thought. The middle of the sea parted, like Moses parting the red sea, and this sand bank was there that you could walk down for forever. But, on the sides of the sand bank the 40 ft waves still crashed into the shore. I walked away thinking, this is it, the end of the world. It came early.

I wish I had woken up after that part but the dream dragged on. The waves were in the background while I went to school, while I hung out with friends, and everytime they reminded me that the end was near.

Eventually the water began to turn into this jelly. At one point, it was so thick that you could walk on it quickly, like corn starch and water. I thought about the animals in the sea and what they were doing. How they were coping.

During class one day my teacher told us to write a list about angels. I sat through the whole class trying to compile this list but couldn't. She was my highschool math teacher in real life and a totally bitch and in dreamland she was the exact same. I asked her if I could write a short story instead, but she said no. It was almost 11:30 and my next class was about to begin but I couldn't gather my things quickly.

I decided not to go to class and instead went down to the waterfront with my friend Sophie. We looked at the thick water as it slopped against the side of the sea wall and I decided to just jump in. It coated my legs and began to drag me down. The end of the world came too soon, I thought as it dragged me further and further down.

jet slag.

I was looking at my livejournal from 2001. I recaped my new years eve antics. There's some funny stuff in there, but this has to be by far the best line

'I awoke this morning with a moderate hangover thinking "did I really steal a dart?"'

awesome.

I am so tired. It's 20:30 and i just want to crawl into bed.

No paris pt. 2.

Paris is burning pt. 1

After a very uncomfortable 7 hour bus ride, we arrived in paris at 6:30 a.m. I think when I'm writing about time, I'm going to start using the 24 hour clock from now on. Okay. So we arrived at 06:30 and it was freeeeezing cold. We walked up from the bus to the metro and stood there, nervously wondering how to buy a ticket. Anna lost and had to ask her for a day card, but she gave us only one for 2 days instead of 2 for 1 day.

We got off at Opera and saw the Opera house where the phantom of the opera lives. Our bellies started grumbling so we tried to find a McDonalds to get a delcious mcmuffin. No luck. And I had to pee. We ducked into the train station at Saint-Lazare because there was a sign that said toilettes. OMG. Worst idea ever. at 07:30 the train station was packed with commuters on their way to work. It was like a swarm of bees slamming into us over and over again. We ran out of there and into the open arms of a starbucks. I felt bad drinking coffee there but, you know what? It was the best starbucks coffee i've ever tasted. Ever.

After we starbucks, we found a mcdonalds (I know. So bad, but I did have a pain au chocolat from a little stand earlier) and Anna got us 2 bacon and eggers. So fucking gross. I ate a few bites then realized that my egg hadn't been cooked! The yoke was all runny and the white part was all sticky. Sick. Serves me right for trying to eat McDonalds in Paris!

Okay, now we had food. It was time to get the day started. We started by walking down Rue de l'Opera towards the Louvre. I thought we were going to go inside but that thing is HUGE! It would probably take about 2 days to cover everything. Instead, we took pictures of the glass pyramids and made our way to Notre dame. We ended up walking the wrong way, so we walked to the Eiffel Tower instead. On the way there, I noticed that everyone smelled like Jean Paul Gaultier's Classique. So good. I miss me smelling like that.

Our legs were going to fall off, so we stopped in this little park in front of Hotel Les Invalides and shared a beer. It was 10:30, but since we had been up pretty much all night, we didn't totally feel like alcoholics. Plus, it was so pretty there. Even the pigeons were pretty.

The Eiffel tower seemed smaller than anticipated until we got really close to it. We took the regular pictures, but we didn't go up because we would've had to wait in line for about 4-5 hours. I did buy a miniture Eiffel tower statue, which is something I've wanted for a long time. Whenever someone I knows go to Paris, I'm like, "Get me a miniture eiffel tower statue!" and they never do. Now that I know they're like 2 euros I realize my friends are cheap bastards... or should I say, basterds.

We took the bus to Champs Elysees and go off in front of this street market. I found one booth that was all Quebecois. They had no curds, so we kept walking towards the Arc de triumphe. We stopped to see a movie at this old theatre that had a balcony and everything! We saw New Moon and it was so bad. Soooo bad. But, I can see why teens love it. We had to keep our coats and gloves on during the whole film because it was so cold in the theatre. Tee-at-truh.

Anna and I were cranky and hunger which made us HANGRY at each other so a few fights ensued on the Champs. She took a picture of the arc and then I took one and she's all, "WHAT! MY PICTURE ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH!!" We knew it was time to go to our hotel and go to sleep.

hotel and next day to be continued

Planes in hell part 2

Okay, so I'm in London, and I have to catch my connecting flight to Frankfurt, but I really don't know where to go. I followed the crowd of people until I saw a sign that said "Terminal 4 - contintental." I made my way over there, took my shoes, belt, and jacket off, emptied my pockets, took my lap top out of my bag and went through security only to be told that I had to go to Terminal 1, and I best hurry because the bus was leaving soon!

Once I was on the bus, I noticed something was wrong with my coat. I took my back pack off and discovered the back button had fallen off somewhere (who knows what country) and the piece of fabric that was attached to it was left dangling. Great.

I got off the bus and went to security for Terminal 1 which was about 5 times more busy than security at Terminal 4. I went through all the motions again with removing the shoes, laptop, and belt but for some reason--I beeped. The security guard called me over and told me to spread 'em. Without disengaging in her conversation with the other guard, she felt me up, every single inch of my body. I was hoping that the first person to touch me like in 2 months would've been my wife but plans change. I grabbed my stuff, feeling somewhat dirty, and went to the lobby.

Now that I had slept a bit on the plane, I was able to understand my ticket. My plane wasn't arriving in Frankfurt at 11:45 a.m. it was actually leaving from London at that time. Shiiiiiiiit. I exchanged my american and canadian dollars for a measly 8 pounds. It took 4 pounds to call Anna and tell her that, then my nose started to bleed again.

The plane to Frankfurt was a medium sized one. I had a whole row of seats to myself. There was a screaming baby five rows away from me and the couple behind me had a screaming baby which made my fear of flying evaporate. All I wanted was for that fucking plane to be in the sky so I could put my ipod on and just zone out.

My nose started to bleed again.

After 26 hours, I finally touched down in Germany. Seeing Anna was amazing. Home is where she is. After all that, seeing her face made it all worth it. Let's just hope I don't have to go through that huge ordeal to go back to Canada because there will be no Anna waiting for me there.

Planes in hell part 1.

I couldn't sleep the night before I got on the plane. I tried to but each time sleep would overcome me, Preston would snore cough and wake me up. By 3 a.m I figured it was useless and just started gathering my things.

I took a cab to the skytrain station and when I jumped out a familiar transient came up to me. In a bad australian accent, he asked if he could ask me a question. "I can't. I have to catch this skytrain or I'm going to be late!" I said and walked away. "Wait! Just let me ask you something!" He said and followed me to the escalator. Obviously he didn't want to ask me anything about where to go in Vancouver or a good restaurant or he would've coughed it out. He wanted to lay some sad sob story on me in order to give him money. Well, I've given him money before! Like four years ago! "Sorry. If you're from Australia, you understand how important it is to be on time for your plane so no, I have to go." I said and went down the escalator. He totally flipped out. Started screaming FUCKKKK! FUCKKK! AHHH!!! Day not starting off too good, I thought.

Hanging out in the Vancouver aiport wasn't too bad. Except for the bird that almost gave me a heart attack. My plane loaded on time, and I was seated next to a nice woman with braces, and we had the middle seat free! Okay, maybe this won't be too bad. Except it was. She had to bladder of an infant and made me get up 5 times during our 5 hour flight to go to the bathroom. The flight hit turbulance 1 hour in. At first it was just moderately bumpy--I could deal, but then it got crazy. The plane was going left, right, up, down. I looked at the flight attendents and even they looked worried. They remained seated for most of the flight too. It didn't help that the captain kept coming on and telling us that he was trying to get through it. TRYING??? It was the hugest relief when the plane touched down, twice, on the runway. Seriously, the plane bounced when we landed. Now I had 5 hours to prepare myself for the next flight.

I couldn't find my flight listed anywhere, so I went to the gate where it was supposed to be and nodded off in an uncomfortable position. I decided to try to give updates on my computer, but I knew it was almost out of juice so I'd better plug it in. Too bad I left my adaptor at Preston's house. Then I went to get something to eat since I refused to cereal they tried to feed us on the plane, but my bank card wouldn't work. I was so tired that I couldn't help stop my eyes from welling up. Fortuantely for me, it was just the bank machine and I was able to take out 20 dollars from another one. I got some gross wendy's and went back to my gate.

At around 5pm, one hour before my flight was supposed to start boarding, a woman came over the PA and asked if anyone was waiting for a flight to Frankfurt. I went up to the counter and she told me that my flight had been cancelled. She found me another flight to London with a connection to Frankfurt that was leaving in half an hour. She apologized and gave me a 12 dollar food voucher which I used to buy the biggest jamba juice ever.

The London flight was alright. I had a tv in the back of my chair, and I watched Up, Back to the Future, Bonnie and Clyde, and Mrs. Doubtfire. I shared the aisle with an old couple who didn't bother me at all. For dinner, I had chicken and rice with salad and some delicious cookies. I couldn't get wasted on the plane because you had to use your interact or visa--no cash. The flight was pretty swell until I sneezed and got a bleeding nose that wouldn't stop. Other than that, it was smooth flying.

to be continued... must eat cold donair now. It is 5 a.m. I have been sleeping since 8pm.

Business as usual

The rains have finally come to the West Coast. I was starting to get nervous once the dry summer spread into the autumn. The winds have shook the remaining leaves from the trees, which somehow seem to find their way into the kitchen every day... I'm trying to find a segway into how I lost my job the other day. Leaves fall from trees which means a new season which means slow business which means no more job for me.

I was a bit upset because I found out that I had lost my job 20 minutes before I was due to close up shop. We have a "communications book" where usually the manager writes about new policies or the assistant manager writes about how we need some "fucking common sense, man. Fuck." I had just finished portioning 300+ bags of cheese curd for our poutine when I realized I hadn't looked at the book or the daily duties. First, I checked out the daily duties. No, I was not going to stamp the bags since we had enough to last us a few months. Now that that was out of the way, I opened the book to see what my manager had written.

Now, I realized that she had been acting a bit strange in the last couple of days. The day before, I called and asked if I could take a 20 dollar advance since my bank still had a hold on my cheque. She got really uncomfortable about it and said that it would have to come off the cheque that was being processed now. Since it seemed like such a big deal, I told her to just forget about it. I ended up making $14 in tips so it was okay. Anyway, the next day when I got on shift, she didn't stay to chit chat like she usually does. She grabbed her shit and ran out of there. I didn't think anything of it until I read her note.

I'm not paraphrasing because I can't remember verbatom what she wrote but it along the lines of, "Due to slow business, I need to cut some shifts. Don't take it personally, I love you guys and it was awesome working with you all! Cut offs start next week." I ran over to the calendar to see what shifts she had cut of mine.... ALL OF THEM! I no longer worked at Pirate chips!! I was so mad! How could I not take it personally? A piece of paper just layed me off.

So, I wrote a passive agressive not under her note, called her up and told her to officially lay me off so I could collect benefits (which I found out I'm not even eligible for anyway) and find someone else to work the late Saturday shift. Now I have 2 weeks until I go to Germany, and I will have 400 dollars less that I had anticipated and now way of getting it. I think she could have handled those 5 fucking shifts! Or at least she could've given me some warning.

This is why I don't feel bad about lying to my employers because they will fuck you over in an instant.

good will hunting

I feel like Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting... except I'm terrible at math. I'm doing this menial job, when I know I could be doing better. I had this great plan of returning to Canada and going back to school but that all fell apart. Now I'm learning that I had more options but it's too late for this semester. I have to wait for next semester.

I'm sure I'm being paranoid or maybe I'm not. I can feel the condescending looks the students give me when I make them fries. Like, poor her.. good thing I'm a student. But I'll still be doing this when I go back to school. I don't know where I'm going with this. I guess it's hard to deal with when people from my past keep appearing at my counter with this surprised look on their face. "What are you doing here?" They ask, as if I'm being held prisoner there. This is what happens when you drop out of school, move to a foreign country, and then move back to NANAIMO to take care of your mother.

I'm going back to school in January but not in Vancouver. None of my plans have followed through, and I'm sure they won't follow through. I'm sick of planning shit. It just leads to disappointment. Where's my Robin Williams?