Positively 4th street

Sometimes I get upset when I think about the past. I mean, that's a given, right?

I could feel the decline for some time. I don't like the feeling I get inside when I'm watching someone crumble in front of me and there's nothing I can do. I should've acted differently, but all I could feel was anger. Passive-aggressive anger. Then, the last shove and it was all over. I guess what really bothers me is the fact that they don't even care that we're not friends anymore. Or maybe they like to pretend we are... but we're not. I have no idea what they're doing, how they are, who they are... and vice versa.

It was just so easy to let it all slip away. I just wish I could forget that they ever existed. My life would be a lot easier that way. No anger. No sadness. No disappointment. But, it's not so easy for me.

The battle

Our springtime weather was short lived. The snow has returned. It's thick, wet snow that quickly covered all colour early spring had brought us. The other day, we went for a run around the small lake down the street. While we were stretching, I kept hearing croaks. Slowly, I crept towards the lake and saw about 4 or 5 bullfrogs sitting on the bank singing to each other. I tried to motion to Anna and quietly as I could, but it wasn't quiet enough, they stopped their song and all but one jumped into the water. I think he was on watch or something because he wouldn't move. Even when I poked him with a stick! Then, I thought he might be dead so I kinda threw the stick at him... that made him move. Anna chastised me after that and said, "Oh, and you claim to love animals?"

Are frogs animals? While I was looking for a picture of this frog sign that comes up every spring along roads (they literally cover the streets making them very slippery... and gross) I found this

without owls there's no toast! Without moles there's no pizza!!! AND without the frog there is no beer! Well, I won't be throwing sticks at frogs anymore.  Also, I love owls. They look like cats with wings.  

Nightmares Episode One

I just saw this ad on craigslist.de calling for submissions for stories about nightmares. Now, as much as I hate it when people share their previous nights dream, I think it would be pretty interesting to see a graphic novel portraying all these different peoples unconscious fears. Lovecraft came up with most of his story ideas from recurring nightmares and night terrors he had as a child. So, I'm going to try a few of my nightmares out on here. 

The recurring nightmare: The End of the world

The bombs.  I wake up in a cold sweat, my body is shaking after being jolted awake. I have just dreamt about the bombs. I lie very still in bed and slowly unwind the nightmare, making it make sense in my head before I try to explain it. I've found, if I don't break the whole dream down, when I try to tell someone about it, it all disappears, and I'm left telling my eager listener, "Well, I'm in a room... and there's this guy... arg! I can't explain it, but I can see it!" 

In this dream, I'm at my mother's house in Nanaimo and it's 2001, currently, not in the dream.  My mom, brothers, and I sit crowded around the television watching an announcement from the President of the United States. He tells us that there's nothing we can do. We have exhausted all efforts to make this good. He has no choice but to drop the bomb at 9:30 p.m.

"No!" I scream, "Isn't there something we can do? We have to stop them!" 

No one will make eye contact with me. They lower their eyes and turn back to the tv screen. Now, the image is of a city. Camera's are switching from the city view to the insides of people's houses. 

"Oh my god," I say as I realize that we have to watch them die. 

The bomb falls towards the city and the tv screen shows a young couple taking shelter beside their bed, they're holding hands and telling each other how much they love one another.  The bomb hits and their limbs are ripped from their bodies. The camera's pan across the city, weaving in and out of people's homes. Nothing is left. 

"We're next," I say. 

And then I wake up. 

Trying to fit it all in one box

It is our last week in Berlin. We've been trying to cram as much as possible in the past few weeks. We went to the Museum of Natural History and saw the Darwin exhibit, which was good except for the hundreds of screaming babies. Seriously, there were strollers everywhere. I tried to maneuvre around this one guy and his stroller and he held his foot out to trip me! I should've tripped and dragged him down with me. I am so glad to be getting out of this asshole filled city where people don't understand how lines work or how to make room for other people on the sidewalk. 

It's been snowing on and off for the past week. After a huge dump of snow, we decided to go and check out the Berlin Zoo, Germany's oldest zoo. Some german comedian was being filmed feeding the polar bears. I didn't pay any attention to him since the polar bears were much more amusing.

After that, we saw the penguins, which were begging me to pet them. Seriously, you can stand right next to their pool, and they swim around you and shake their tails. I was too afraid of catching some sort of penguin parasite (and of getting caught and thrown out of the zoo) so I resisted. 

The biggest attraction of the Berlin zoo is the Polar Bear Knut. When he was born, his mother rejected him (bitch) which made his father (both pictured above) want to scarf him up for dinner. He had to be seperated and raised by a zoo employee, who unfortunatly died this past christmas.  The zoo is talking about getting rid of Knut because he needs a mate and they're too cheap to buy him one even tho he makes them all their money! Seriously, the gift shop was full of Knut polar bear paraphenilia. Poor Knut. He also has some emotional problems, like, he can't stand to not have attention and at x-mas time when everyone was unwrapping presents, the zoo keepers had to stand infront of his cage and pretend they were oohing and aahing at him so he'd stop crying. Pretty sad. 

We stumbled into the wild cat part of the zoo just as they were being fed. All the cats paced anxiously in their cages, their eyes intent on the zoo keeper. At first, I didn't know what was going on. It reminded me of that part of "The Day After Tomorrow" when all the animals are going crazy at the zoo and the guy's like, "What's going on, Ceaser?" the end of the world, that's what! So, I was a little nervous... that is, until I saw this adorable little guy eating the face off of a bird.

That lioness is hangry! I was actually feeling a bit peckish myself.. until I watched all the animals destroy their food.. which was mostly gigantic rib cages, tins of livers mixed with eggs, or dead birds/rats. 

Then we saw some monkeys. They weren't too crazy. We had just missed them eat, so they were all falling asleep. No poop hurling. We ended our four hour visit at the Elephant shack. It was pretty stinky in there, so I took a few pictures and then the camera told me I couldn't take anymore because I was a crazy person who managed to take 170 pictures of animals in 4 hours. I will leave you with the highlights. 

Or not... the computer is all crazy now. So enjoy the camel trying to do the splits!

I would like here this

I have used the phrases "Sprechen Sie deutsch?", "Kein Deutsch", and "I don't speak German" way too much this week. Anna started to get the flu on the way back to Berlin. It hit her full force on Monday night leaving her incapacitated to do anything until today. I had to go to the Apotheka, which is German for a pharmacy, and ask the pharmacist if he could speak English. He didn't really answer, just sort of giggled nervously and made a groaning sound that sounded like a no. Anna had told me what to say to him incase, but I mixed up the words so if translated it would sound like "I would like here this!" Yess... I would like here this. 

The doctor payed a visit to us last night. After it took Anna 20 minutes to find the number for emergency. Apparentely, it varies for each region and city. It's five numbers.. why do German's have to make everything so complicated? Are they like, "911?? Pft! OUR country has FIVE numbers for emergency which means WE'RE smarter because we have to remeber more.. hah!" Yeah or you die because you can't remember the numbers and it's almost impossible to find the number for it and Germany doesn't have operators so you can't even be funny and be like, "Operator! I need the number for 9-1-1!" 

The doctor was a little man who was dressed like he was going to paint a house. His assistant wore a medical mask the entire time and wouldn't even handle the 10 euros that we owed. He tried to tell me something but Berliners speak way too quickly, so all I got out of the sentence was something about our table. I said, "Sorry, I can't speak German.. something on the table?" He looked at me with disgust and then snatched the money out of my hand. Awesome. 

So, I'm fine doing shit on my own. I probably look like a giant idiot because they always ask me something after I've paid and I always say "Nein"

"Have a good day!"
"NEIN!" 

Just another day in East Germany?

Yesterday, we embarked on our journey home from Buchen. It takes about ten hours and four trains. I don't mind it because I am one of those creeps who can fall asleep on moving objects (Except planes when I'm alone) Anyway, we arrived in Erfurt, which is East Germany. A few years ago, it was in the news because of the Erfurt Masscare, where a kid shot a bunch of his teachers. It's also where the neo nazi's tried to hold some demonstration, and it's where we found ourselves surrounded by several dozen swarms of police and hundreds of punk kids dressed head to toe in black. Some wore sunglasses and had scarves wrapped around their faces. It seemed like a party for them as they shouted loudly to each other and spread themselves all over the station. Some sat together, cross-legged, on the floor of the Bahnhof, others held each other and whispered in each others ears while laughing at the cops who stood at the ready with riot gear on their hips. 

After an uncomfortable visit to the bathroom, Anna and I made our way upstairs to the platform. We tried to stay as far away from the ever expanding crowd of punks but we were enclosed by a circle of Police. Anna pointed out that the whole station was surrounded by them. I looked out onto the street and sure enough four or five police cars stood waiting with their lights flashing. 

Our train finally pulled up. As it did, the cops made their way closer to the crowd. One woman cop had a camcorder affixed to a stick so she could record whatever was about to happen. My heart was smashing itself against my chest screaming at me to get the fuck out of there. 

Anna and I boarded our train, along with several punk kids, and two cops. The cops left after ten or so stops but the kids remained. Everyone got off the train except me, Anna, and the punks. They shouted at each other, kicked seats, and lit cigarettes, but they left us alone. 

When we got to Berlin, they were still everywhere. They seemed even more rowdy. Three of them were on the S-Bahn with us back to Spandau, yelling slogans about Erfurt and "The man who parts his hair on the side" 

I've searched the news for any sign that some riot broke out--nothing. Perhaps the cops succeded in keeping the kids at bay. 

Why you got to be so scary, East Germany?

Breaking up the toxins

On monday, I started the master cleanse. It went okay, until yesterday when Anna tempted me, like the devil she is, with her African chicken. I'm sure I'd still be on it, but she was like,

"Why are you torturing yourself? Just eat something! Come on!"

I gave in, and she made me a plate. But, I did lose 4 pounds... I guess that's something. Right now I'm waiting for the Salt water flush to kick in. Delicious. Healthy living! Once we get back to Berlin, I'm going to be all about healthy living.

I'm not really looking forward to coming back here again in a month and staying for a month. I try to tell Anna that her mom is just a constant nag, but she's used to it, so she doesn't see it. It's just pretty lame when Anna's 15-year-old nephew gets treated more like a grown-up than we do simply because he's a man. Alright, I better go turn the tv down and put some socks on before Ida loses her mind!