I think it's going to be overwhelming, coming back to the city. I had a friend who moved up island to Tofino. She came to visit in Vancouver, and she said that the city was so scary now. I couldn't understand. How could Vancouver be scary? The hustle and bustle of a city is so exciting. But then, the other day in Heidelberg, I felt myself getting anxious as we moved along with the street crowd. People everywhere. I closed my eyes and tried not to let it affect me. I told myself that it wasn't bothering me. It's just a city, I said. I don't think it was because it was a foreign city because almost everyone was speaking english.
I've been avoiding people for seven months now. I hate going into town here. I feel like I've developed paranoid skitzophrenia because I swear to god everyone is staring at me. They are. In a town of 8,000 people, everyone knows who's who. There was an informative billboard at the Rathaus yesterday about the the Jewish families that were deported during the war to work and death camps. After Anna translated it for me, she shook her head and said how it must have been really hard to hide considering everyone would know who was Jewish. They probably pointed their fingers and led the way for the Nazis.
I'm not saying that all the people here are assholes. I just haven't really met anyone here that is nice. Anna's friends are nice but it feels superficial, almost forced. Then again, I may have just gone crazy. Cabin fever or something. Maybe I'll feel that way when I'm surrounded by my friends, and I'll be looking for the nearest exit so I can run home and hide from everyone... let's hope not.
No comments:
Post a Comment