Crossing borders

Yesterday we walked to Switzerland (whoa, I totally forgot how to spell that for a second) because we wanted to see what their grocery stores are like. I trapped myself in a sweater because it was cold and windy when we got groceries at our local. However, on the way there, I soon discovered it was fucking boiling out, and I was wearing a black t-shirt with a red hoodie. I could've taken the sweater off, but then I would've looked gross. No time for that.

Once we made it to Kreuzlingen, we tried to cross the street at one of those zebra crosswalks, but some douchebag decided to almost run us over and then he had the audacity to honk at us! I raised my arms in protest and said, "What! It's a crosswalk!" Then he made a sign that means I'm stupid. I should've kicked his car. After that, we were scared to cross the street.

I saw a man and his dog, and his dog was trying to bite him, so he kept yanking it up in the air by it's leash. I was like, "Christ, if someone kept holding me up in mid-air by a leash, I'd try to bite them too!" I don't understand why some people get animals if they don't like them.

After roaming around the town for a bit, we finally stumbled across a mall. We almost circled the entire building before we found an entrance. What kind of mall only has 1 entrance?? A Swiss mall. Inside, the mall was circular, like a slinky. The grocery store, COOP, was gigantic. The first thing we saw was the beer aisle. We were like kids in a candy store. They had all my favorite beer! Well, almost.. no Canadian beer.. but they did have cans of Dr. Pepper. We also found Canadian Bison steaks, but they cost about 30 swiss francs, and we only took out 20. So, we bought a bunch of beer and some cookies and made our way back to Germany.

By the time we got home, the tape I used to fix my shoe had worn away. That's how I knew it was good walk.

A sea rant

This girl on my friends list on Facebook posting something recently that didn't sit too well with me. Her status update read, "Can you get worms from eating raw seal heart?" Her friends comments are what irked me. One replied, "I hope so!" while others re-iterated what had been said about the gov. gen. Michaëlle Jean. Last week she went to Native ceremony in Nunavet and was offered the heart of a seal they had hunted for the feast. Usually the heart is reserved for the Elders since it is considered a delicacy--the best part. Had she declined, she would have been disrespecting the ceremony.

In the past few years, the world has grown soft for the seals of Canada. Now it is unfashionable, or unfathomable to use any type of seal product. Being a member of western civilization, it's quite easy to avoid wearing seal skin coats, eating seal meat, or using seal fat as oil for my lamps. However, there are thousands of Inuits and first nations who rely on hunting seals just to survive. They aren't out there on the ice clubbing baby seals to death like in the propaganda photos Peta peddles. They use the entire seal and thank the creator for allowing them to live another day by providing said seal.

Celebrities like Pamela Anderson and Morrisey have openly said they will boycott Canada until the seal hunt stops. I'm not saying I'm for the seal hunt that goes on every year, but for Canadians to start turning their back on the First nations because they are using seals, and have been using seals, as a way to survive. What about the impact that the celebrities are making on the world? Does Pamela Anderson thing that her SUV and Mansions are powered by a magical concoction that has no repercussions on the environment? What about all the "bling" she wears? I'm sure she's one of those people who subscribes to the idea of "Ice Diamonds" as opposed to "Blood Diamonds." Blood diamonds come from africa where women and children lost their lives just to mine them. Ice diamonds apparently are guilt free since they come from Canada and no one was harmed in harvesting them. Are you kidding me! Diamond companies de-water lakes, re-route communities, destroy migration paths just to get at these stupid rocks.

So some people might say, "So what, why do they have to hunt these seals? It's the 21st century. Can't they just eat pizza pops like the rest of us?" Yeah, because the 21st century is so amazing. Our generation, our culture is so great, right? Our economy is sliding further and further every day and there's nothing we can do about it. A plague is looming above our heads. Weapons of mass destruction threaten our entire way of living, and all we can think about is how many GB our iphone has, what character should be kicked off our favorite show, and what to wear that won't make us look fat. Why would you want to be part of this society if you didn't have to be? Seal meat is high in vitamin B. Vitamin B makes your blood thicker so if you're living in -40 degree weather, you're not going to drop dead from hyperthermia, which has happened in communities where western powers took over and overpriced convenience stores were all the people had access to. Not only is that disgusting, but when the native people started showing signs of hyperthermia, the police mistook them for being drunk and shrugged it off without helping them.

I guess what I'm getting at is that Canadians shouldn't be afraid of the seal. It's not only cute to look at, it's also a great source of food, clothing, and oil. And I don't wish worms on the Elders of the native communities. As Michaëlle Jean said, "Vegetarians make a choice in their life. I haven't made this choice. When I eat lamb, I know that I am eating a lamb. When I eat veal, I know that I am eating a veal. Those, too, are very cute animals."

strawberries

May is coming to an end. I think it's the first May in a long time that hasn't been terrible. There are still three days left, so maybe I'm jinxing myself. Anna is fucking with my flow right now. I'm digressing, don't even get me started on her! Anyway, May has always been awful for me. Ever since I was 14. I think that's when I first got the depression. I remember sitting in my room listening to Celine Dion (on the radio.... ) and sitting on my floor trying to roll a joint and just feeling this overwhelming sadness. No sadness this month. Maybe it's the intensly hot weather or the erratic thunderstorms that are keeping my emotions in check.

There was a job posting in the paper for a strawberry picker. I think that would be fun. I think I would have to buy a prairie dress, a gigantic straw hat, and a satchel and learn some chuch hymns in order to fit the part. Or, maybe I should buy some overalls... Are there lots of bees near strawberries? If so, no deal. I remember Beefcake used to love to hang out in the strawberry patch in my mom's backyard. I miss that guy. Harvey this summer! He is going to love the backyard. And mom is going to love him.

so good it makes your asshole hang out

In my dream last night, I was in a bar having a drinking contest. At the count of 3, we all downed our beers. I was surprised how quickly I drank mine, but I still didn't win. Eli took me home, and I was feel a little drunk even though I had only drank one beer. We got to our street, which looked more like a street in Berlin, and all the street lights were turned off (They turn off some street lights in some cities to save on energy. Here they turn off cross walk lights.. they'd rather save on safety than energy). Once we stepped into the dark street, I couldn't see anything. I made him hold my hand and guide me back home. When I opened my eyes, I was sitting on a couch in an apartment.

After that, I was the youngest child in a family that didn't like me. There was magazine open on a chair with a picture of a pig with it's asshole hanging out. It was supposed to be some sort of advertisement--it's so good it makes your asshole hang out. Fin.

I have cramps today and the incessant piano playing isn't doing them any good. They keep playing all those songs that are always on the demo part of a keyboard... I used to turn those on and pretend I was playing the piano. Oh, they finally stopped but the children are still screaming. The children were screaming... THE CHILDREN WERE SCREAMING!! Oh Hook, what a great movie.

Do dogs eat horses?

I'm reading my livejournal from 2005. I miss my everyday musings, so I'm going to attempt to keep up with this thing.. again.

Yesterday we went to this little village outside of Konstanz to see this canyon. Anna decided not to tell me how far or how long it would take us to reach said canyon. After an hour or so of hiking along a narrow, muddy path, a sign said "2.5 km" I wouldn't have minded so much if it wasn't 7 p.m. and 27 degrees out! Anyway, I agreed to trek on but only for another half an hour since I didn't want to get trapped in the forest after dark... that's when the german werewolves come out...

We came to a fork in the road. On one side there was a girl with a horse, on the other side, rabid dogs. Seriously, the ran from their masters toward the horse all barking with the hackles up. Anna stayed back because she thought the dogs were going to rip the horse apart then get all blood lust and go after us. We decided to avoid the dogs and go up the hill instead. After a few km's, a bees nest, and pond with lots of baby frogs, I decided we went in the wrong direction. We did make it to another canyon, which I thought was the original one, but Anna said there was supposed to be a beach and a kiosk.

Holding back my frustration, we turned around and went back home. We did find a nice free beach though.

Turn it off

ugh, I really need to stop watching so much T.V. on my computer. I'm losing my sense of reality! Take for instance, yesterday my nose started to bleed while Anna and I were on the way to the grocery store.

"I can't go in there like this, can you handle it on your own?" I asked her. She agreed and I walked back the apartment. By the time I was home, the nosebleed had almost stopped. Great, I thought, I can relax and maybe play some GTA until Anna comes home. No chance of that. As soon as I got rid of the clot, my nose started gushing blood. This never happens! I always get rid of the clot, but I guess I was a little too quick on the trigger.

I stood in the bathroom over the sink for about 10 minutes, trying to get the bleeding to calm down. It just kept gushing out, down my face, onto my shirt. Then, I recalled an episode of Six Feet Under that I watched a few weeks ago where the beginning death scene was a lady waiting in line to see a Dr. Phil like personality. Her nose started to bleed, so she stayed outside to wait for it to stop, but then it started gushing and gushing and then she died. Well, as soon as I remembered this I started to freak the fuck out. It didn't help that blood was pouring into the back of my throat and filling up my mouth. I grabbed the phone to call Anna and make her come back home, but she left her phone at home. When I heard her cell phone ring, my heart started pounding, and I started to hyperventilate. And still, the nosebleed had not let up. So, I called my mom.

Eli answered the phone. I tried to sound as calm as possible, but he knew something was wrong. So for the next 15 minutes, he and my mom talked me off a ledge and gave me several different tips on trying to stop this monster of a nosebleed.

By the time Anna had come home; the bathroom was speckled with blood, I had given up on toilet paper and was just using a face cloth, and the bleeding had finally slowed down. There was no brain hemorrhage, just an insane, stubborn nose bleed. Maybe it's time to get my nose cauterized again...

This is how I remember

I woke up last night because I couldn't breathe. It felt like someone was sitting on my chest. I walked around the apartment to try to loosen it up, but I ended up just falling asleep thinking I was going to die. Maybe it's the weather.

Yesterday it rained the hardest I've ever seen it rain--anywhere. I told Anna that if we got naked and walked outside with some shampoo, our hair would've been shiny and clean. I like the thunderstorms here. The thunder sounds like the sky is slowly ripping open like a loose seam on a tight pair of pants. As Anna and I walked home from the grocery store, the sky was flashing and breaking apart above us. We looked at each other and giggled always remembering that first night we spent together.

Meersburg

Yesterday, we went to Meersburg. It's across the lake and it takes about 20 minutes to get there by ferry. It's pretty touristy there but not as bad as the altstadt in Konstanz. I want to rip my hair out when I get stuck in a crowd down there.

That is one of the oldest castles that someone still lives in. We tried to find the entrance to go visit it because apparently there's all this cool stuff in it, but we just ended up climbing a lot of stairs only to go down a hill again. Oh, and look at that van! It looks totally normal to me now but when I first got to Germany last year, I was like WTF!

Insel Mainau

Insel Mainau is this little flower island off of Konstanz. It's probably a bit smaller than Protection Island. Anna and went there a couple of weeks ago since we got free ferry passes and entry to the Island. Otherwise, we'd be paying 30 euros... which would mean we would not have visited it because I'm cheap and like to spend my money on more important things...



The Romanov's used to summer here. Actually, I don't know what they did here, but the last building is a church (pic below shows the inside) and a bunch of them are buried there. Also, Church's are so nice and cool to escape the heat!



I love my orchids, and they do too. This picture was taken inside this gigantic greenhouse where the royal family would eat. There's palm trees, parrots, and hundreds of orchids all arranged in different tiki themes..



We saw a wedding. Actually, we see a lot of weddings. Konstanz is like the Vancouver Island of South Germany. It's so beautiful there.

A bit of Konstanz

Where the banner says VHS is my school. I don't know who those women are or what they're looking at... and below is the huge cathedral that tells me when class is over every day. It's the only time I enjoy the bells ringing.


This is a statue infront of the burgerbüro that is so fucking ugly. I don't know what it's purpose is but it's a bunch of naked men or women in a tub and on the side of it they have babies driving cars and giving the finger and spitting.. it's disgusting.

I love these buildings. I'm sure it's like a million euros to live in one.. but they're so pretty

Broken German Robot

I start my german course tomorrow, and I'm totally freaked out. It's all in german.. there are no english explainations.. I'm freaked out because there's usually one word per sentence that I don't understand. Doesn't seem like too big of a deal, right? Unfortunately, the word I don't understand is usually the word required for understanding the whole sentence. It's like "Please mashrnidlci the sentence and fihgoijw the words." Sure thing... right on it... Oh well. I'll bring my german dictionary and just pray that the teacher doesn't want me to talk all the time.

I took out my lip piercing the other day. I did it while intoxicated after Anna and I visited the lesbian bar here. Anna thought I would regret it in the morning, but I've wanted to do this for awhile because I was pretty sure I was destroying my teeth by constantly playing with it. Now I have a little hole while I hope because a little smaller and is often mistaken for a freckle. Thank god I have so many freckles. I'm suffering from phantom limb though and keep trying to play it. Why isn't the metal scraping against my gums!

Oh yeah, the gay bar.... I used to read this political lesbian comic back in the day called "Dykes to watch out for." It wasn't funny or thoughtful... it was all about PCness, the conservative agenda, global warming, dykes on the job, and all that other crap that most people don't want to see in a comic, but I still loved it. Anyway, when we walked into the bar, Bella Donna, I felt like I had just stepped into one of the DTWOF comic strips. At any moment, I thought Moe would saunter in to chastise me about going to starbucks and buying books online... Bad vibes.