I have no followers, and I am afraid to go outside.
Last night I dreamt about finding surgical masks to cover my face with. I went overkill with 3 or 4 of them, which just ended up suffocating me. I also had my alien invasion dream. Since I've been curious about that warehouse on the waterfront that is built into a cliff, I've been wondering about what it would be like to live in a rock... well, last night my dreams were answered, and I was hiding out in a rock from the aliens. When I went outside for a breath of air, the sky lit up with hundreds of planes and explosions. I just kept repeating, "Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no!" Like I could just will them away. When I woke up, my head was spinning, and my muscles were protesting as they always do after a nightmare. What is that? Is that what happens when you don't use your adrenaline rush? Well, it fucking hurts.
It hasn't hit Germany... yet. I need to stop thinking about this. I wish the only english channel wasn't fucking CNN. I hate CNN. Greg and I were talking about how much panic they induce. When I came back to Canada last summer, all I had watched was CNN, and I figured everyone else was freaking out about the economy, jobs, war, disease.... no, no one cared. Now just think about how they're actually handling the economy, loss of jobs, war, and disease? Everytime I skim past it my anxiety smashes itself against my heart and stomach. I'm much safer just watching the Gilmore Girls in German.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Monday, April 27, 2009
I suffer from a little crazy
I curse myself for ever reading that stupid book, The coming Plague. Actually, I think I would hate to be Laurie Garett. I wonder if she just stays inside all day wearing a hazmat outfit.. I mean, I would if I knew all that shit. I wish I had one right now! I'm sure people would think it was perfectly normal if I walked down the street like that... or better yet, I would LOVE to live in a bubble like The Boy in the Bubble. Then I wouldn't be scared of shit like the swine flu. Unfortunatley, I don't live in a bubble and I am scared of sicknesses.
A few years ago, I had the opportunity to study in Prague. I turned it down because I heard there were cases of the avian flu near there. What kind of crazy am I? I just need to stay cool. Wash my hands, don't stand near strangers who are coughing, get some fresh air, and I'll be okay.. right? Right.
In other news, I booked my ticket back to Canada. I'll arrive in Vancouver June 20th, and I'll stay there until we go to Edmonton. Once I'm back from Edmonton it's off to nanaimo until september. I need to find some interesting things to do in the 'mo and a job.. I need a job.
A few years ago, I had the opportunity to study in Prague. I turned it down because I heard there were cases of the avian flu near there. What kind of crazy am I? I just need to stay cool. Wash my hands, don't stand near strangers who are coughing, get some fresh air, and I'll be okay.. right? Right.
In other news, I booked my ticket back to Canada. I'll arrive in Vancouver June 20th, and I'll stay there until we go to Edmonton. Once I'm back from Edmonton it's off to nanaimo until september. I need to find some interesting things to do in the 'mo and a job.. I need a job.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Thank you for being a friend
Bea Arthur has died. My throat is all tight and I totally want to cry. I never get emotional when actors die, well except when they portray it really well on screen.... But, I've been watching the Golden Girls since I was a kid. Sometimes I would pretend I was sick just so I could sit at home and watch the Golden Girls with my mom. Those days were the best days of my early teenage years. I loved Dorothy, her sarcasm, her wit... Bea Arthur was an amazing actor that brought a lot of people joy. Rest in peace, Bea.. thank you for being a friend.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Konstanz
We've moved into our apartment in Konstanz-Peterhausen. It's a very dorm like building. I'd say there about 100+ apartments in this building, each are about 25 square metres. Despite the smallness, I feel at home. Konstanz is like Nanaimo's grandfather, so to speak. In the altstadt, there are buildings that were built as early as 900 A.D. Now that's impressive. If it wasn't so crowded all the time, I would actually enjoy hanging around the altstadt.. but I can't handle large crowds of people constantly pushing each other to get through the narrow, cobbled streets. It makes me anxious and angry.
Yesterday, we walked across the Swiss border. There's no border control on the waterfront and the border is made up of art. Kreuzlingen, a Swiss town (I think that's the name) merges with Konstanz, so we walked on over to Switzerland, bought a frozen beer, and walked around the tierpark. I finally remember to bring some crackers for the swans. I was so excited when I saw one, so I rushed down to feed it thinking it was going to be all grateful... but no, it raised it's wings and hissed at me and started to charge me. I threw the cracker at it and ran away. Stupid swiss swans.
There's a student bar in the apartment building next to ours called Winny's that claims to have Karaoke. This is exciting. We also need to check out the frauen für frauen bar, Bella Donna's. I hope I shed some of this weight in the next few weeks.
Yesterday, we walked across the Swiss border. There's no border control on the waterfront and the border is made up of art. Kreuzlingen, a Swiss town (I think that's the name) merges with Konstanz, so we walked on over to Switzerland, bought a frozen beer, and walked around the tierpark. I finally remember to bring some crackers for the swans. I was so excited when I saw one, so I rushed down to feed it thinking it was going to be all grateful... but no, it raised it's wings and hissed at me and started to charge me. I threw the cracker at it and ran away. Stupid swiss swans.
There's a student bar in the apartment building next to ours called Winny's that claims to have Karaoke. This is exciting. We also need to check out the frauen für frauen bar, Bella Donna's. I hope I shed some of this weight in the next few weeks.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Spending the afternoon with Anna's oma
"Stalin ruined everything."
Anna's grandma, Anna Sr. is probably the most interesting person I've ever met. It's just too bad I can't speak to her properly. The whole hand gestures and mumbly german don't sit well with her. She does get excited when she can understand my German though. I just hope I'll be able to have a real conversation with her before she dies.
She was born in Odessa, Ukraine in 1928 to German parents. The queen had invited german families to migrate to Ukraine and set up farms without losing their german backgrounds. Everything was going fine until WWII. The Russians were getting closer by the minute, and it was time for them to flee. It happened while she was at school. Everyone was in a panic and just picked up and started away from the Russians. Her teacher, a gypsy, led them as far as he could. They kept seeing trucks full of Nazis, but each time one passed, they flew by without stopping. Finally, the teacher found a truck and told the students, "Okay, we'll get into this one! Hurry now students!" They all piled into the back of the truck and waited for the truck to start to whisk them away from the Russians. Unfortunately, there was no driver--the truck had been deserted.
The students got seperated into 2 groups, Anna was in the first group while the teacher was in the second group. Anna's group made it to a group of "Police Officers" (this is what she calls the Nazi's) that helped her group get on a train that would take them to Germany. The first group was captured by the Russians. The teacher saw them approaching and just ran away leaving the children behind. Anna, my Anna, never understood why her grandma was so venomous while speaking about gypsy's until she heard this story today.
So, Anna got onto the train. She's sixteen-years-old and is completely seperated from her family. All she has are her two friends, so they make a pact.
"We'll stick together until we find our families."
They stayed on the train, running out at each stop to collect a piece of bread with butter. Finally, they were approaching the German border. But, before they reached the border, they stopped at this train stop where lost family members had posted where they were. Amongst the list was Anna's niece. Farely certain that her niece would lead her to the rest of her family, she said goodbye to her friends and got of the train. Shortly after, she and her family were captured by the Russians. Her friends were rescued by the Americans/Canadian forces where they decided to flee to and make their permanent homes.
The Russians made Anna, her family, and many other prisoners, march to Russia. They had to walk the entire way, through Poland towards Russia. I asked her how long it took, but she couldn't calculate it. She looked at her hands and said, "It took a very long time. Especially because there were children who couldn't walk and we couldn't carry them."
Once they reached the Russian border, they were piled into a train and sent to Kazakstan. The train took 3 months to get there. Once she was there, she was forced to speak Russian and adapt to her foreign surroundings.
That's it for now. I'm going to try to visit her more with Anna so I can learn more. I want to know how Stalin killed her father, how she reconnected with her two friends, and so much more.
Anna's grandma, Anna Sr. is probably the most interesting person I've ever met. It's just too bad I can't speak to her properly. The whole hand gestures and mumbly german don't sit well with her. She does get excited when she can understand my German though. I just hope I'll be able to have a real conversation with her before she dies.
She was born in Odessa, Ukraine in 1928 to German parents. The queen had invited german families to migrate to Ukraine and set up farms without losing their german backgrounds. Everything was going fine until WWII. The Russians were getting closer by the minute, and it was time for them to flee. It happened while she was at school. Everyone was in a panic and just picked up and started away from the Russians. Her teacher, a gypsy, led them as far as he could. They kept seeing trucks full of Nazis, but each time one passed, they flew by without stopping. Finally, the teacher found a truck and told the students, "Okay, we'll get into this one! Hurry now students!" They all piled into the back of the truck and waited for the truck to start to whisk them away from the Russians. Unfortunately, there was no driver--the truck had been deserted.
The students got seperated into 2 groups, Anna was in the first group while the teacher was in the second group. Anna's group made it to a group of "Police Officers" (this is what she calls the Nazi's) that helped her group get on a train that would take them to Germany. The first group was captured by the Russians. The teacher saw them approaching and just ran away leaving the children behind. Anna, my Anna, never understood why her grandma was so venomous while speaking about gypsy's until she heard this story today.
So, Anna got onto the train. She's sixteen-years-old and is completely seperated from her family. All she has are her two friends, so they make a pact.
"We'll stick together until we find our families."
They stayed on the train, running out at each stop to collect a piece of bread with butter. Finally, they were approaching the German border. But, before they reached the border, they stopped at this train stop where lost family members had posted where they were. Amongst the list was Anna's niece. Farely certain that her niece would lead her to the rest of her family, she said goodbye to her friends and got of the train. Shortly after, she and her family were captured by the Russians. Her friends were rescued by the Americans/Canadian forces where they decided to flee to and make their permanent homes.
The Russians made Anna, her family, and many other prisoners, march to Russia. They had to walk the entire way, through Poland towards Russia. I asked her how long it took, but she couldn't calculate it. She looked at her hands and said, "It took a very long time. Especially because there were children who couldn't walk and we couldn't carry them."
Once they reached the Russian border, they were piled into a train and sent to Kazakstan. The train took 3 months to get there. Once she was there, she was forced to speak Russian and adapt to her foreign surroundings.
That's it for now. I'm going to try to visit her more with Anna so I can learn more. I want to know how Stalin killed her father, how she reconnected with her two friends, and so much more.
Just because you're bi-polar don't mean you can hang with us
The other day, a woman decided to jump into the polar bear enclosure at the Berlin zoo. I've been to this zoo and seen these polar bears, if you remember...
The large one lying down is the father of Knut, and one of the ladies beside him is Knut's bastard mother who rejected him. They had to seperate Knut because his daddy would've eaten him. Now some crazy lady decides to jump in and join the group?
Looks like they rejected her ass too. The polar bears of Berlin zoo are an elite group.
Also, I really love how there are videos and picture's of this shit. I felt like I was in The Happening while watching this. Except she didn't die. The zoo keepers managed to pull her to safety while the bears swarmed around her in the little pond.
Sometimes peoples logic just doesn't work.
The large one lying down is the father of Knut, and one of the ladies beside him is Knut's bastard mother who rejected him. They had to seperate Knut because his daddy would've eaten him. Now some crazy lady decides to jump in and join the group?
Looks like they rejected her ass too. The polar bears of Berlin zoo are an elite group.
Also, I really love how there are videos and picture's of this shit. I felt like I was in The Happening while watching this. Except she didn't die. The zoo keepers managed to pull her to safety while the bears swarmed around her in the little pond.
Sometimes peoples logic just doesn't work.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Finding obscurity in a 99 cents bin
I was thinking about music today and the thought of obscure music crossed my mind. I remember seeking out record shops to find the latest cd from subpop or killrockstars. You couldn't find that shit at A&B sound or the wal-mart cd kiosk. It was fun searching for the latest indie bands and listening to music that your friends made faces at. Yesterday, I was trying to find new music and the first place I decided to look for the new "cool" music was on the gossip girl website. Is there such thing as obscure music anymore? I think websites like myspace, last.fm, and itunes have destroyed obscure music.
Sure, each town has their own little gem of obscurity--an awesome band that hasn't been exploited on teen television dramas or Ipod commercials. It's like counter-culture has met up with popular culture and there's no where to hide. There are no more dark spaces--everything is wide open now thanks to mr. internet.
Or maybe I'm just old.
Sure, each town has their own little gem of obscurity--an awesome band that hasn't been exploited on teen television dramas or Ipod commercials. It's like counter-culture has met up with popular culture and there's no where to hide. There are no more dark spaces--everything is wide open now thanks to mr. internet.
Or maybe I'm just old.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Afternoon binge haircut
Spring has arrived in Germany... actually, it seems like Germany decided to skip spring all together and go right to summer. Nothing is in bloom yet so it all feels a bit funny. I guess I have to stop hiding behind my coat and get on the road to fitness! At first it was super easy to go for walks.. but it all gets a little boring. Konstanz will be better. Busy streets, waterfronts, and nothing to do!
My mom wants me to come back earlier so Eli can go up north for his job. I would like to, but I don't want to leave Anna so quickly. Last year was hard enough so why put ourselves through that when it's not that neccesary. I think by moving to Nanaimo instead of Vancouver so he can go up north is okay enough.
I need 100 more euros for my ticket home.
Anna got her hair cut today. She doesn't like it, so she decided to chug a glass of vodka and pass out at 2 in the afternoon. I love my wife. I also love her hair cut. I don't know what she's going on about, it looks amazing. Better than the two toned, uneven hair cut she had before (that I gave her with a leg shaver). The colour is chocolate brown and the cut is all nice and layers. I probably shouldn't be writing about her drunkeness on here. She's not a drunk, I swear.
My mom wants me to come back earlier so Eli can go up north for his job. I would like to, but I don't want to leave Anna so quickly. Last year was hard enough so why put ourselves through that when it's not that neccesary. I think by moving to Nanaimo instead of Vancouver so he can go up north is okay enough.
I need 100 more euros for my ticket home.
Anna got her hair cut today. She doesn't like it, so she decided to chug a glass of vodka and pass out at 2 in the afternoon. I love my wife. I also love her hair cut. I don't know what she's going on about, it looks amazing. Better than the two toned, uneven hair cut she had before (that I gave her with a leg shaver). The colour is chocolate brown and the cut is all nice and layers. I probably shouldn't be writing about her drunkeness on here. She's not a drunk, I swear.
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